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You Dance When I Dance

You are the breath of my life.
You walk where I walk
Kicking stones from my path
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Comments about this poem (You Dance When I Dance by Antoinette Kopperfield )

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  • Raynette Eitel (5/29/2005 9:40:00 AM)

    The ideas in this poem are very good but you need to 'tighten' it a bit. I love the line 'you walk where I walk, ' and of course 'you dance when I dance.' Those are beautiful images but be careful. Love poems can be trite. Look for those lines which have been used again and again. Reach deep within yourself and find new ways to say them. I would love to see this poem when you rework it, for I think you are indeed a poet.

    Raynette

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