Antoinette Kopperfield


You Dance When I Dance - Poem by Antoinette Kopperfield

You are the breath of my life.
You walk where I walk
Kicking stones from my path
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Comments about You Dance When I Dance by Antoinette Kopperfield

  • Rookie Raynette Eitel (5/29/2005 9:40:00 AM)

    The ideas in this poem are very good but you need to 'tighten' it a bit. I love the line 'you walk where I walk, ' and of course 'you dance when I dance.' Those are beautiful images but be careful. Love poems can be trite. Look for those lines which have been used again and again. Reach deep within yourself and find new ways to say them. I would love to see this poem when you rework it, for I think you are indeed a poet.

    Raynette (Report) Reply

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