Your Outsourcing Abilities Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Calm down!
What is the matter with you?
You look exasperated.
Irritated AND annoyed.
What happened?

'I arrived home.
And everything was gone.
All of my food.
Icecream and my favorite cookies.'

Gee.
Really?
I saw your buddies doing that.
But...
I didn't think anything about it.

'You witnessed it?
And didn't say a thing about it to them? '

Why should I?
Those are your friends.
Your allies.
And besides on my last visit to your home,
You declared you would do absolutely anything...
To get your hands on season tickets.
Do you remember this?

'Well...
Yes.'

Do you remember telling your 'friends',
Whatever they wanted from you...
They didn't even have to ask.
And whatever it was had been up for grabs?
And all they had to do was to take it from you?

'Well...?
Sorta...kinda.
Why didn't you stop me?
You could have said something.'

I did.
I called you a fool.
And then what did you say,
As your friends looked at both me and you?

'I said...
If anyone knew anything about outsourcing.
It was 'me' and not you who should be calling 'you' names.'

Exactly.
And you are right.
Apparently calling you a fool,
Was not enough.
Especially when you issued each one of your 'buddies',
A set of your house keys...
To come and go as they please.

'But I didn't think they would do anything like this to me.'

Well...
You did show 'your' outsourcing abilities,
At the expense of feeding yourself.
And I hope you are not here,
To accuse or blame me for your activities?
You and your friends do that 'feast or famine' thing together.
Do not involve me.
I am going to sleep, eat and live my life quietly in peace.
Would you like a sandwich?