Your Thoughts... Poem by vidya vakulabharanam

i cannot do away with your thoughts,
even when i have left them
unattended to dry up in the white summer heat.
with vengeance they spread a cancerous restlessness
and the drying vapours, moist, come back to settle in my eyes.
in the nights i smudge them with the dark paint of sleep.
but they paint my dreams instead, to fall off like fresh petals,
colourful, just a little tired from the hard night's work.
one day i found a petal, dried, tucked in the pages of a bulky book
in a dusty shelf of an old library.i touch it gently
to feel the rush of your rustling memories melting in my hand.
i cannot do away with your thoughts.
laden with pain, they fall heavy like the first drops of rain.
and then they settle down again like that obstinate dust.
in vain i try to break your thoughts into little manageable bits.
but the wistful look of the young maiden hung on the wall
gives them back to me as one broken dream.
i cannot do away with your thoughts.
so i write just for you. it is only you and me here
on this lonely island. sometimes shy, sometimes with pretense,
sometimes ashamed. your thoughts, they never leave mine alone.
they remain, like the first step never taken…