Dipy Hermonite


Your World My Lord Poem by Dipy Hermonite


The train moved swiftly through the night,
O'er rivers, fields and glens.
The girl was rocking in her sleep,
Smiling every now and then.
Though the rags that she wore on her body,
Had seen many a better day.
She had been told by her daddy,
It had been destined for them that way.

'My Child', he would say,
'Though I love you more than anything in my life,
What can I do - my darling - my sweetheart,
When even God doesn't see how we strive.
I have to work hard each day,
In order that we may,
Get a little bit to eat, before we go off to sleep,
And we pull through another day'.

This World's been moving through time,
Through nuclear explosions and hell.
We've come a long way, since the gold rush days,
Yet for gains our daughters we'll sell.
The sons being raised by their daddies,
Would have seen many a better day.
Had they not been groomed to be baddies,
To steal, to rape and to slay.

O my Lord, don't you see,
How this World that you've made needs advice?
Show us the path, the way it should be,
Sans avarice and malice and vice.
We've slaughtered, abused and we've slayed,
Our morals have blown in the glade.
Please give us the sense, to get out of these dense
Dark clouds of Hades we've made.

Submitted: Saturday, August 17, 2013
Edited: Thursday, November 7, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

With the intention to needle our collective conscience.

Comments about this poem (Your World My Lord by Dipy Hermonite )

  • Rookie Shivani Yadav (2/9/2014 9:02:00 AM)

    Nicely used words and a topic that needs a deep thoughtprocess. I liked the way you presented the whole things in a simple convo... Nice to read it :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 237 Points Natasa To (1/11/2014 4:55:00 AM)

    Your poem is excellence. I love it. Keep up to your great work. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Agron Shele (11/23/2013 2:58:00 PM)

    Fine! Your poem is great! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 52 Points Erika Wingo (11/18/2013 11:36:00 PM)

    You have summed up perfectly the miserable state the world is in and the tragic state of humanity. This resonated with me as I often find myself feeling the same way. A very compelling piece that reaches out and touches the reader deep within their own humanity. Makes one think. Keep on creating Dipy my friend! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Alexander Coppedge (11/18/2013 9:10:00 PM)

    Simply lovely. Well expressed with a very depth meaning. Thank you for lighting my path. Wonderful art. Smooth delivery. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 8 Points Besa Dede (11/8/2013 7:38:00 PM)

    A very heartfelt poem, with tones of melancholia through its stanzas. The flow is smooth and natural, thus making the poem enjoyable to read. Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing.
    I also humbly invite you to read any of my poems and review them.
    Best regards,
    ~Besa (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Bharti Chandwani (11/7/2013 9:46:00 AM)

    superb very relevant......we all are in the train having compartments of corruption, low morale, absence of humanity..........a nice poem and a beautiful prayer..... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 132 Points Marcus Mckinley (11/7/2013 8:52:00 AM)

    the seperation of worlds by seas and mountains leads men to forgetfullness. creating an anarchy in a hierarchy that should never have existed in the first place. forcing men to pray on the weak. a nice poem reflective of a country in need of change and equality. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Manohar Bhatia (11/7/2013 6:07:00 AM)

    Its the same old story of the {girl child}, {female foeticide}, {girl rape} and countless abuses heaped on this magnificient beautiful species ever created by God. Although I am a man, your poem certainly made my eyes moist. You do have a soft heart and this will help you to write sensitive poems such as this one.Keep writing please more. We can keep reviewing each others poems and learn more of poetry.Regards,
    Manohar Bhatia. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 127 Points Allemagne Roßmann (11/7/2013 5:57:00 AM)

    drafted exquisitely hereby...wish you the best (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 47 Points Karen Gonzalez-videla (11/7/2013 5:48:00 AM)

    This poem is amazing! I definitely added it to my list of my favorite poems! You certainly have a beautifully magnificent gift. Thank you for this incredible poem,

    Karen :) (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 11,881 Points Edward Kofi Louis (11/7/2013 4:16:00 AM)

    A nice piece of work. Thanks for sharing this Poem with us.

    E. K. L. (Report) Reply

  • Bronze Star - 2,356 Points Hans Vr (11/7/2013 12:04:00 AM)

    Oh yes, i like this poem very much.
    We are on this train
    God is here but our minds do not tune in
    I ask for love but my heart is not fully open
    I ask for wisdom but my mind is partially closed
    I ask for beauty while being wilfully partially blind.
    Your poem provokes so many thoughts and feelings
    Excellent poetry (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Dr Tapan Kumar Pradhan (10/17/2013 10:59:00 PM)

    I loved your poem, Dipy. You have a definite talent, which can be honed still further. Wish you all the best for the contest. But you cannot predict anything in an Online Contest like this - which can be easily manipulated by cyber savvy poets! ! (See my poem Poem Hunter Contest Final just to have an idea of how a contest can be manipulated...) (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 572 Points Serban Raducu Bogdan (10/16/2013 3:20:00 PM)

    God is a lie. Stop being childish. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Aloke Mukherjee (10/15/2013 11:47:00 AM)

    Fantastic poem. The cadence and images are good. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Darenka Themuse (10/5/2013 10:12:00 AM)

    Nice. I envy your expertise. Sehr gut. Interressant. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 2 Points Lasoaphia Quxazs (10/3/2013 2:00:00 PM)

    You are looking for an advise from God? Here is one: Life is a school room where we are presented with challenges what we cause but we are the one who have to solve also. If you dwell on sad tragic, you will continue with that, if you dwell on God's goodness, turning away from the complains and telling that it was better before, definitely your life will change. The past is gone, we have only the today what we can bless and expect the best, but face what comes and deal with it.
    You might have many people who says that your poem is lovely and so on, bur nobody says what you really need to know.
    Wishing you God's best for all the days of your life.

    People want always something what is not there and they are not able to handle either.
    It is possible to live in heaven now or in hell if you dwell on it. You have the right to choose which you choose. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Manuk Baltzakis (10/3/2013 9:09:00 AM)

    Very nice story, it flows beautifully. I also liked your vocabulary. (Report) Reply

  • Veteran Poet - 1,842 Points Babatunde Aremu (10/3/2013 3:45:00 AM)

    Nice poem. I like it and voted it as wonderful. Keep writing (Report) Reply

Read all 73 comments »

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