Zoo Visit Poem by gershon hepner

Zoo visits can be lots of fun
with your young daughter or your son,
unless you cannot understand
the child whose hand is in your hand.

An elephant has lots of teeth,
plus two tusks which it doesn’t sheathe,
but once it’s lost its teeth its trunk
is useful when it needs to dunk.

Most chimpanzees just love to fight
although they know it isn’t right,
and when you offer them bananas
they will not share––they’ve dreadful manners.

If you’re enormous as a python
you need a lot of land to writhe on,
which makes a lot of people anti
all pythons, save the one called Monty.

Monkeys from high branches swing
like a bird that’s on the wing;
those which fail what they attempted
fall just like us when we’re tempted.

Giraffes have got the longest necks
Which helps them while they’re having sex
to look between their lovers’ knees
to see if they are hes or shes.

In the wild a great baboon
uses forest as spittoon;
when he wipes his nose a leaf
serves him as a handkerchief.

Meerkats, just like prairie dogs,
love to watch from highest rocks,
the world go by as if they knew
what it’s about––I don’t, do you?

The Arctic bear who’s unipolar
loves summertime when life is solar,
but in winter when he slumbers
the bear is cooler than cucumbers.

Rhinoceroses are quite huge
and don’t respond to subterfuge,
but hippopotamuses do,
and go away when you say: “Shoo! ”




Lions, tigers aren’t as wild
as a spoiled, unruly child.
Owing to their tender ages
children are not put in cages,
but when they do not eat their food,
or are abominably rude
and fail to listen when we scold,
or go to sleep when they are told,
it’s more than right that should lock
them up, though this approach may shock
those people who have set their sights
on animals’ and children’s rights.
Please, next time when you’re in a zoo
check out what I have said, and do
inform me if you think I’m wrong
about where naughty kids belong.



11/8/06