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Honestly Officer, The Horse Must Be Drunk! Or But Wait, Wasn'T The Horse A Designated Driver? - Poem by Joe Rosochacki

Elmer Stolzfoos Fisher,22, of Paradise, Pennsylvania, was slumped over and asleep.,
Oh so deep!
Not in his room, but his horse drawn buggy, drunk, with a.18 blood-alcohol level breath.
(Pennsylvania's legal limit is.08)
Luckily for him, the police, had been called earlier,
-arrived to save him from most certain death.
He is Amish, the Christians who turn away from the worldly gadgets,
Such as motor vehicles, TV, mass communication,
-- and a whole host of technological widgets.
An off duty officer called the East Lampeter Police Department,
This last Sunday, to report a possible 'DUI driver in a Horse and Buggy.'
Was Elmer coming home from a 'barn-raiser' or did he celebrate Christmas a tad early?
Whatever it was Elmer seemed full of contentment
Today.
But his buggy was seen 'straddling the center line of the roadway'.
He was wearing no disguise,
But he had, according to arresting officer,
'strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath and bloodshot, watery eyes.'
Was his horse and buggy taken into the impound lot?
Was he put into a jail cell with a simple bed and a stainless steel pot?
As far as citation was concerned, Elmer had no driver license,
But complaint made sense,
As 'sensical' as sense can be
-the make of the vehicle was listed as 'Horse & Buggy'.
Another crime had been solved by East Lampeter's CSI: Amish team,
-according to the Sacramento Offbeat News Examiner.
This will make fodder for jokes in the future,
And cause a lot of laughter and smiles,
I can see the coming jokes now;

Elmer Fisher was entitled to one call to his lawyer but he couldn't figure out how to the use phone.

First the bad news, Elmer Fisher was busted far a DUI,
The good news: None of his family will find out about this on the television.

'The reason I pulled you over sir is that you had your turn-candle signal on for the last five miles.'

12-1-09


Comments about Honestly Officer, The Horse Must Be Drunk! Or But Wait, Wasn'T The Horse A Designated Driver? by Joe Rosochacki

  • Rookie - 225 Points Brian Jani (5/24/2014 5:03:00 AM)

    Nice poem Joe well done (Report) Reply

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Poems About Horse

  1. 101. Honestly Officer, The Horse Must Be Drun.. , Joe Rosochacki
  2. 102. The Horse , Kathryn Thompson
  3. 103. ! ! Horses For Courses , Michael Shepherd
  4. 104. The Odyssey , Homer
  5. 105. A Hanging , Herbert Nehrlich
  6. 106. Every Night Before I Retire To The Bed , Ali Sabry
  7. 107. Orlando Furioso Canto 16 , Ludovico Ariosto
  8. 108. The Last Rhyme Of True Thomas , Rudyard Kipling
  9. 109. The Squire's Tale , Geoffrey Chaucer
  10. 110. Horse Limerick I , Ivy Schex
  11. 111. Wounded Knee Creek , Colin Ian Jeffery
  12. 112. Horse Character , Cecelia Weir
  13. 113. Orlando Furioso Canto 2 , Ludovico Ariosto
  14. 114. The Horse And Cart Ferry , Henry Lawson
  15. 115. I Ride My Horse , Horse Poet
  16. 116. 'Just A Horse' , jess schwarcz
  17. 117. Jumping Horses , Bethany Maxwell
  18. 118. Ballad Of The Canyon , Linda Ori
  19. 119. Downtown Cabbie (Season 1 - Complete) , Diane Hine
  20. 120. Epithalamium , Bob Hicok
  21. 121. A White Horse Of The Most Magical Kind , David Taylor
  22. 122. Cracker Jack (The Story Of A Race Horse) , sylvia spencer
  23. 123. Enniskillen , Alice Guerin Crist
  24. 124. The Diverting History Of John Gilpin, Sh.. , William Cowper
  25. 125. Moonlight Ride , John Allen Richter
  26. 126. Odium Theologicum , Sam Walter Foss
  27. 127. Count - One-Two-Three - Kick The Lonely .. , Harindhar Reddy
  28. 128. The Magnificent , Jean De La Fontaine
  29. 129. I Don'T Care Anymore , Sophy Chen
  30. 130. The Illusion Of A Knight , M.D Dinesh Nair
  31. 131. Princess And The Black Horse-Ii , Neela Nath Das
  32. 132. Refugio's Hair , Alberto Ríos
  33. 133. The Bedouin's Rebuke , Henry Abbey
  34. 134. A Horse Riding Boy! , Ramesh T A
  35. 135. The Rescue , Robert Creeley
  36. 136. Just A Horse , Ron Secoy
  37. 137. Polyhymnia , George Peele
  38. 138. The Ghost - Book Iv , Charles Churchill
  39. 139. The White Horse... , RIC S. BASTASA
  40. 140. Him My Wild Horse...I, The Chosen To Fly.. , Florida Angel
  41. 141. About A Horse , Marton Dezso
  42. 142. A Horse Life , Kim Robin Edwards
  43. 143. A Giant Horny Horse Fly, That Just Did N.. , Michael Gale
  44. 144. A Singing Horse , nimal dunuhinga
  45. 145. Appaloosa , Judith Beveridge
  46. 146. Abner And The Widow Jones , Robert Bloomfield
  47. 147. The White Horse , Barbara Field
  48. 148. The Barrel Race , Horse Lover
  49. 149. The Sport Of Kings , Rev. Dr. A. Jacob Hassler
  50. 150. Fate , Helge Rode
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