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Sacred Epiphany - Poem by Ammar Nadeem

One day went to meet the light inside
mountain top, can view the whole city wide
alone i was with nature talking by my side

trees were playing orchestra
wind was dancing, showing the beauty of violin
the flow of water through mountains was laughing and enjoying
as i layed down on the lap of mother nature, a sacred garden with beautiful beings

as i closed my eyes i heard a weird calling..
unknown it was, with voice of a girl
when i opened my eyes and saw beside me
like a magician's trick ,
a humanish angel was laying beside me

i kept on starring at her
was surprised by the beauty what god made
thought to be her forever aid
her soul was a place where depressions came to fade
sparks i felt inside …
like a roaring tide …
like a child's mind..

i changed my position, sat down and asked her 'who are u? '
she was calm like flowers dancing in a slow tone ….
she said ' i m mostly alone here, got no friends, jus mom and dad, we live alone on this mountain, never been with humans and never seen this city before, and here no one comes … '
shunting of feelings begun ….
i gave her a gentle smile and said 'i live in humans.., they are like normal beings … but it's just they forgot some basics , i live in city, although i m totally alone too'

as the wind blows fast, teasing us both in this sacred wilderness
clouds gather up, and cheered with us in this trance of madness
her long white coconut hairs , blue eyes , and white long dress
lead me to think of a sin that 'was she a god's daughter? '
her mind was free like a bird in sky
just wanted to fly high and high
innocence from her core
could feel the noise of her shore


she smiles back as a reply … and says 'friends? ? '
i replied her saying 'Sure but u hav to promise me something, will u? '
she says 'yes? ? , what's that? ? '
some sacred words i said ' promise me no matter what happens u'll never leave me, no force on earth can break our friendship'
she smiles back
felt like my soul was at hack
she had all my aces now
nature gave a pleasant bow..

she stood up and started to run here and there
around the trees
jumping on the flowing water
spreading her hands to feel the breeze
i joined her too …
that moonlight's tune ….
chased her
she wasn't coming into my hands
running and laughing
then suddenly she stops, worried she looked
i asked 'something wrong? '
she tells that it's time now she has to go back home
because she told she loved her parents most and couldn't see them sad
held her hand …
walked till her house to drop her …,
kissed her forehead and covered her with my shawl i was wearing
Her thoughts were becoming my darkness ….
my inside now only wanted her nothing else ….


couldn't concentrate on anything else but her …
felt like mother nature gifted me a most precious gift …

next day again i layed there for peace...
she comes.. keeps her hands on my eyes and say 'can u tell who's this? ? '
i easily recognized it was her
we both laughed
as the talk goes
wind became our chorus …
she says 'i want to … tell u a secret'
she looked down in embarrassment
i went close …
she tells then 'i m a very poor girl … yet rich from inside'
as she points to the city lights view from top of the mountain
and says ' there... ppl are selfish, mean, hurting and cruel'
i m scared to go there …
i looked in her eyes and hugged her …..
that peaceful feeling never felt like before ….
glow from the core
my heart went against my brain
felt like inner child went insane …
i atlas says some sacred words again 'i … love … you … very very much and it's my promise to u that i will respect u, love u and give my loyalty to only u'
i felt like she was crying …,
my chest felt her joy of happiness

she looked into my eyes and passed a smile while tears were flowing from her eyes and says 'i don't know anyone except for my parents and this nature, but when u came …, i thought i knew u for centuries'
she again hugged me and cried hard.. her only words were 'thank you'
i took her in as much as i can …, and said 'b happy as much as u can, as long as i live '

our meeting was our …. nasiba'h
but being her's was my … khush nasiba'h


as ticking crossed the roman dairies
we got married …
not in church nor masjid, nor any temple ….
but it was our decision to setup our marriage where we met first time …
mountain top ….
looked from city like, angels came to dance on that mountain …
wen she gave entry as a bride
everyone were amazed to see … ,
she couldn't manage the dress properly
came running towards me, hugged me again and held my hand …
felt like my very own soul settling into me …
and asked 'y everybody is staring at us? '
i laughed …..
surrounding her with my arms, hiding her from humans …

atlas on wedding night, i sat beside her,
and said while she was sitting in my room …. 'i love you very much jus remember one thing, no body could ever replace u, i knew i m not deserving to hav a girl like u but …'
she interrupted and hugged me 'just never leave me, i want to b always with u ….. and …. our love is eternal '
kissed her forehead
picked up the gift from the dressing table and gave her
she opened in reluctancy , it was a gold necklace
she asked 'watt's this? ? '
i said it's necklace u wear it on ur neck
she started to cry
i went close to her to wipe her tears
she says 'i never wanted these things, i don't know it's value even …, and u know when i married u.. it is the biggest gift i ever got , i love u …'
like the river time went on passing and passing
every ticks and toks crossed the shaded moments

poverty came like a flood , some times later …
it wasn't a god's curse or wrath either …
to check the strength of our bond he faultered …
i cried in a dark room, lost a job …
as the scent of her soul came near..
she came to me and cried like a child with me …
it was true she couldn't see me hurt ….
she said holy words ' no need to cry …., i told u before at our wedding night too that i don't want riches, money, but … all i need is for u to b happy, so what if we can't sleep on our bed, i'll make ur chest my pillow…, so what if we got nothing to eat …. when u hugg me it makes my hunger go away …., i will b with u whatever happens … i love u … '
realized these artificial gods for other humans were never valuable for her ….
don't know when the gods of love and peace will conquer ….
could feel the treasure inside her
which was her love to nature and purity …

amazed i was to see her …
thought to commit a sin by worshipping her ….

like the river, time went on passing and passing
every ticks and toks crossed the shaded moments

became a businessman ….
those artificial gods became my slavesmen …..
a place where sins became fashion …
demonish desires became fool's paradise …
was sitting at my huge office …
always serious busy in my work …
as i sensed impurity …
a very pretty girl with dressing like every eye's necassity
exhibiting her flesh in reality …
as she came to me and touched my hand …
and said 'would u like to go out with me? ? , handsome u are and rich too, many boys are behind me and wants me but i like u …'
i stopped that moment there..
as the rush of my thoughts continue to flow..
again from the start when i met her,
when i was laying on mountain top , like a forever conjurar
those promises i made with her to give her my loyalty during our wedding, witnessed by nature even …
she faced poverty and faced each and everything with me..
going against all odds, the villainy tik and toks …
but never loosing the grip off my hands …


all of a sudden my eyes open
that girl a bit feared and then again asked 'so wat do u say? ? '
i went close to her … her scent of impurity i could feel in her core …
gave her a tight slap ….
she started crying realizing my prophet like personality …
i said then 'learn to love one …., i m a married guy.. and u knew that …, and u knew that too i love my wife to extremes … even after death i will b with her …. always with her … don't b a toy of impurity, and marry a guy who doesn't want ur body … but all he wants is u …, go and cover urself up, to attract a true one exhibit ur heart not ur body ….'
tears started to flow from my eyes …
yes she was hurt but i knew one day she would come to thank me …

as i went back home …
she came and hugged me like always she does …
gave her a present …
as she opened she finds that it's a diamond ring ….
i bowed in front of her and said 'i m … really.. thankful to u for being with me … and for accepting me as ur husband since the very first day … and yes.. i want us to b together forever.. i love u very much '
she started crying … and said 'i don't need this …. if u want me to b happy just b with me …, never leave me …'
i hugged her taking her all in …
when the day i proposed her to marry me ….
her innocence, beauty..
and her purity was like,
i could listen to thousand of angels in her ….

while time was sprinting
she was expecting
took her extra care
a new life was taking birth inside her ….
she felt very ill …. at the time of labor
doctors said it's hard to save the mother …
my eyes were still
all the tiks tokss went nill

when i was sitting in hospital
a weird radical
saw that office girl whom i slapped, in hospital
came running to me with a guy …
she wasn't one like before..
purity i now sensed from her core …
she said 'sir … i don't know if I m changed or not …, but yes … the things u said … taught me many things in life …, i m about to get married …, i realized the real happiness is in loving not using the bonds we make …, i just wanted to thank you …, like a prophet u came into my life and changed me …, it's true the path i took was wrong … but really i m thankful to u for making me realize sooner …, and this guy u are seeing is my future husband'
they both looked at each other and passed a smile …
took both of there hands and kept her palm on his palm
i said then 'always b happy, no matter what times comes between u both …, just never loose the grip … '
they both came to hugg me …
and i felt like i m painting happiness on a sheet of skies ….


after spending some hours in hospital, heard a baby's cry
doctors kept her on my lap
it was a girl …
jus like her mother …,
kissed her forehead
took her to her mother …
she was loosing control of herself …,
her illness was dominating her

got something in my mind
gave the child to the doctor and said 'something is left to do, while u give her to my mother'
kissed my daughter's forehead and went to my wife
now it was time to change the paths of life
couldn't let god take her from me …
picked her up, took her to that place where we first met
her eyes were half closed
could hardly see wat god chose
suddenly nature rose
strong winds began to blow …
i layed down on the garden and slowly put her head on my chest …
she was crying …
yet very happy
she said 'i remember all those moments with u …, one of the best days of my life with u was each and every moment with u … our love is forever..'
i start coughing really hard … and it was blood i was puking …
silence ruled again
we were only watching the sky at night time and beautiful it was
she went to sleep …
i kissed her forehead and my tears finally started flowing through my eyes
as i cried to myself ' i m sorry please forgive me , i love u very very much, i couldn't see u separate from our daughter and family … so i decided to die on ur place, yes it's true … u'll b fine.. but.. i hav to go, ur heart was weak..so i gave u mine and took ur's , and to be honest the best thing is u'll hav my heart forever, although i never wanted to get separated from u but … anyone had to sacrifice, and last thing is …. our daughter looks like u, i m lucky that i took her in my hands and played with her a bit …. '
that time i spent with her was
something like wishes were preprocessed to fantasia
as dreams were covering from dark curtains

she was sleeping quiet on my chest..
when she'll wake up she'll see a new morning …

trees were playing orchestra
wind was crying, showing the darkness of violin
the flow of water through mountains was sad

as i closed my eyes i heard a weird calling..
unknown it was with simple math
it was my death
* my eyes were teary as my soul was leaving my body …., cuz i never wanted to be separated from her, yet still i was happy that i spent some of the best moments of my life with her, i m really thankful to her, and about those moments, i decided that i will share with angels and god when i'll go up there *


as the wind blows fast, teasing us both in this sacred wilderness
clouds gather up, and cheered with us in this trance of madness
her long white coconut hairs , blue eyes , and white long dress
lead me to think of a sin that 'was she a god's daughter? '
her mind was free like a bird in sky
just wanted to fly high and high
innocence from her core
could feel the noise of her shore


when she wakes up
she finds me dead …
her eyes turns red …
she couldn't control herself ….
entering into psychotic realm …
cried very much …. again and again saying 'it was me who was dying … u would hav let me die.., what's going on …., god what are u doing? '
i came from up above ….
like an angel of death..
now only aim was to keep that light in my dark soul ….
all i wanted now was to make us eternal …
changed the fated conceptions ….
stood in front of her and the place where my body was layed ….
i stared at her and smiled at her …..
she started realizing slowly ….
everything was heavenly...
i went close to her and grab her soul out leaving her body behind ….
time to b free ….
only visible to nature's spree …
she came close, hugged and started to cry ….
i said 'u remember this place where we first met …, now see our dead bodies laying there..'
she was very happy to be with me … ,
she again started to run here and there..
enjoying the nature without any care …
inhibition of fear …
gone forever …
leaving only stories behind..

realized her happiness was me ….
felt like god of darkness and goddess of light had a bond which was legendary ….
worshipping each other … forever ….
leaving all those mere organs made up of tissues
like hearts and minds …
only left with souls of us both …
if we became gods or sapheroth ….
as our bodies slowly rot
our souls fought
nature by our side ….

as some months passed by …
my mother was holding my child
suddenly doorbell rings …,
she sees a couple ….
she asks 'yes?
then the girl says 'i m really sorry to hear about them.., but it's something weird …. cuz no one found there bodies.., yet both of them died …., they used to love each other …, they weren't just normal humans.. but were gods in human's shape '
my mother agreed on it … she asked 'how u know them? '
she tells the whole story, how she met me and a slap changed her life …
she finally ask my mom for something
a true beginning
fated destiny …..
finally her trembling voice spoke 'i… want to adopt there daughter …., angel she is … not many knows … and don't u think … god wanted that too … a slap changed my life …. and yes it's true i did many things wrong in the past but yes … they taught me a lesson and i changed.. i m happy …, but it's time to give her ultimate happiness … i will b a gud mother too.., that's my promise to u … and to them ….'
she began to cry …
her hubby huggs her tight and says 'i love u very much …, and we will both face difficulties together … '
my mom says to her 'child spread ur hands'
as she spread her hands..
conjoining of seven lands
every human is just a statue made up of sands
my mom hands my daughter to them … and says final words ' always remember that she isn't a normal child … '
she replies 'i m really thankfull to u ….'

accept for our bodies …
our souls layed on that very same place ….
wearing black shirt, dark black pants …, black shoes, and a black watch , with a black chain on my neck
she was wearing.. long white dress … long coconut hairs, blue eyes …
that same innocence in her …..
we both held each other's hand more tight ….
as we both stared at the sky she asks me the holy truth …. 'who are u? ? , when i first met u …, i never felt like humanish in u ….'
i said then ' i was never a normal human.., yet very very rich worldly …, i could feel humans when they used to cry …., and when i found this place alone to rest i met u …, i've always lived in darkness …, i.. m … a god of darkness, a prophet like no one ever born …., a dark angel … '
she was shocked …
i held her hand more tight …
then i continued 'the day after marriage when we exchanged our souls ….., that day u became the mother of nature, ur purity of light and my purity of darkness when combined, as a result our daughter became the child of both worlds with a purpose only to see humans all around the world happy and erase sadness … she will b a prophet like human and a god like creation, with only ambition to spread happiness '
when she heard this she hugged me again …
emotionic chain ….
every ocean felt bane ….
confused were gods of sane …
then she says atlas ….. 'i m ur worshipper, u gave me everything when i was alive and even afterlife too, see … now …. we became forever ….'
living still after death
fails every math
neither god's wrath …
then again the past repeats with some falters …
she stood up …
while holding my hands …
we ran here and there …
through mountains..
nature again was happy ….
and our souls with our love became eternal forever..
became apart of nature ….
a forever conjurar …


trees were playing orchestra
wind was dancing, showing the beauty of violin
the flow of water through mountains was laughing and enjoying

as the wind blows fast, teasing us both in this sacred wilderness
clouds gather up, and cheered with us in this trance of madness
her long white coconut hairs , blue eyes , and white long dress
lead me to think of a sin that 'was she a god's daughter? '
her mind was free like a bird in sky
just wanted to fly high and high
innocence from her core
could feel the noise of her shore


our meeting was our …. nasiba'h
but being her's was my … khush nasiba'h


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