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Schlub And Hottie - Poem by gershon hepner

When a schlub falls for a hottie,
and is trying to be naughty,
he’s more likely to be dumped
and to slump than to be humped.
Life must be hard for shlubs, no doubt,
because no hotties will put out
for them, except for movies in
Hawaii, where they let them win.

Inspired by “Forgetting Sarah Marshall, ” where Jason Segel plays the role of Peter a schlub who goes to Hawaii, where he is pursued by two hotties, Rachel, played by Mila Kunis and Sarah Marshall, played by Kristen Bell. A. O. Scott writes:
Jason Segel, author of the film’s screenplay and a fixture in Mr. Apatow’s universe since the television series “Freaks and Geeks, ” takes his allotted turn as the romantic lead, which is to say as a slobby, goofy but basically decent fellow navigating the uncertain waters of modern sexual ethics. He does so at an island resort where the evening sun bathes the palm trees in honeyed light and imparts a gemlike sparkle to the Pacific Ocean. Supporting Mr. Segel are some of the usual gang — Jonah Hill as a waiter, Paul Rudd as a surfing instructor, Bill Hader as the brother back home in Los Angeles — and a few newish dudes (notably Jack McBrayer and Da’vone McDonald) stepping up to deliver YouTube-ready riffs on matters of eros and pop culture. (Politics, the actual YouTube obsession of the moment, doesn’t really exist in Mr. Apatow’s world.) … The Rachel-Peter romance is charming but not, in the end, especially credible or interesting. That the contrastingly but equally gorgeous Rachel and Sarah end up as rivals for Peter’s favor is likely to flatter the self-esteem — or at least feed the fantasies — of doughy, underachieving regular guys across America. Which is nice for them, us, whatever. But the schlub-hottie pairings that have become ubiquitous on screen lately also reinforce a dreary double standard. Guys are permitted to be flabby, lazy emotional wrecks, but as long as they crack jokes, some action will come their way. Girls, ideally, should have a sense of humor — mainly so they can laugh at those jokes — but for the most part they should look good in a bikini and like sex (though not too much and not anything too weird) . Maybe someday, though probably not under Mr. Apatow’s aegis, a relatively ordinary-looking woman will have a sex comedy of her own.



4/29/08


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Poems About Television

  1. 1. Schlub And Hottie , gershon hepner
  2. 2. Held Prisoner In Underground Bunker 5.10.. , Margaret Alice
  3. 3. Obama Magic , john tiong chunghoo
  4. 4. My American Niece The Talker , Is It Poetry
  5. 5. Realizing Luck , RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  6. 6. Sedina , Edward Kofi Louis
  7. 7. Hardcorpes , Charles Hice
  8. 8. Mystic Chord , gershon hepner
  9. 9. Closedown , Sally Evans
  10. 10. 1one100six6seven7 , Charles Hice
  11. 11. Bachelorette For Life , Donal Mahoney
  12. 12. The Anger Behind The Swing Of This Axe , Ace Of Black Hearts
  13. 13. Imagining , RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  14. 14. Television Takes Control , Paula Glynn
  15. 15. In The Light Of Any Coming War , MOHAMMAD SKATI
  16. 16. April Three Poetry Npm Charlax , Charles Hice
  17. 17. This Damn Television , Randy Johnson
  18. 18. Charlie Rose Has A Chuckle , Bill Grace
  19. 19. Old Fashioned Fun , RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  20. 20. Tendulkar's Hundredth Ton , S.D. TIWARI
  21. 21. Special Gift , RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  22. 22. Loosen Up And Relax , Aldo Kraas
  23. 23. Shortcuts , gershon hepner
  24. 24. Wear , otteri selvakumar
  25. 25. Be Homely, Though Not Comely , Rm.Shanmugam Chettiar.
  26. 26. Rooftop , Robert Rorabeck
  27. 27. Bliving Life With Barry Iii , Barry A. Lanier
  28. 28. The Daily Act Of Presence , Jonathan ROBIN
  29. 29. Sopranos , gershon hepner
  30. 30. Coming Back To Home Earlier , Palas Kumar Ray
  31. 31. Political Assassination Publically Justi.. , Terence George Craddock (Spe ..
  32. 32. Popular Psychosis , gershon hepner
  33. 33. Mindless Matter , gershon hepner
  34. 34. Bon Mots , gershon hepner
  35. 35. God Save Us From The Queen , gershon hepner
  36. 36. My Soul Untouched , Margaret Alice Second
  37. 37. Two Points On The Line Of A Commercial P.. , Bill Grace
  38. 38. Freeness Kills The Spirit , Rm.Shanmugam Chettiar.
  39. 39. Mamama , Edward Kofi Louis
  40. 40. Woman Only Lures By Image , Rm.Shanmugam Chettiar.
  41. 41. Watch Me Sleep, Will You? , Windsor Guadalupe Jr
  42. 42. Alternating Time-Scales , Terence George Craddock (Spe ..
  43. 43. True Beauty , Robert Rorabeck
  44. 44. Metronomes And Moore's Law , gershon hepner
  45. 45. Teddy And Oliver Talk It Over On The Bus , Donal Mahoney
  46. 46. Uncaring Attitudes , RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  47. 47. Airing On Interior Screens , RoseAnn V. Shawiak
  48. 48. A Quarrel , Udaya R. Tennakoon
  49. 49. Morse , Randy Johnson
  50. 50. Friday Night Lights (A Tribute To David .. , Luke Easter
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