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Pebbles In A Ocean By Bo-Edward Lawrence - Poem by Bo Edward Lawrence

Sometimes I have dreams that spread across the sea line, like when you fold your bed just right to the point, were there are no creases whatsoever. I have dreams that make my eyes become waterfalls and my arms into mountains. I cannot escape darkness that comes after a beautiful sunset but I cannot escape the light that sparks after a cloud of darkness. I wish I had blond hair and blue eyes like the ocean; then will I survive. Will I be judged for saying I want to be everything but myself. I want to look different I want to be different!

I begin to walk out towards the ocean and my feet become engulfed in sand. My toes curl when the water hugs them for the first time. I step forward, almost as if I wanted to walk and walk until I’m lying down in the belly of the ocean. The water creeps inches up my leg with every step I take, I feel as though my soul and humanity is becoming weaved into nature. I finally stop once the water sits right below my thighs. I stare into the water and see myself. I see the real me.

“Why am I like this I can only do so much, I feel limited and like a failure” I said

“Why do you feel like a failure” he said

“I feel as though I am never good enough. I work so hard every day! EVERY DAY! But I get appreciated by no one. My girlfriend has left me; my parents are slowly dying and getting sick. This bottle of Hennessey can’t seem to detach from my fingertips. My life feels like a beautiful stained glass found in a famous roman catholic church, but only in shambles. You can see exactly what it used to be, but you can see how ruined it is now, much more clearly.”

“Don’t you think that even some broken glass, has a significant beauty to it? It holds a beauty that you couldn’t have seen without it being broken? ”

“What beauty does broken glass have? It’s everywhere and it can become so tedious to pick up! ” I screamed

“Look where you are standing! ” He says “You are standing in water, although you stand in the way of the waves it still manages to move freely without commotion. You picking up that glass can be tedious but it’s worth it. If you don’t your feet will get cut and the next person who walks by their feet will get cut and so on. You should never hint at giving up or subduing to wanting to be something else. Remember, that sometimes even rivers wash away dams.”

“But I’m so small in this world, I can’t change anything! I have no say on what the world might become. I help the poor but each day someone becomes homeless. I strive with others but yet I still manage to get stepped on. I vote for change but yet still get screwed over by the government. I donate to these cancer foundations and other organizations that feed children in other parts of the world, but every year things get worse. A new disease emerges, or a mass shooting happens. College loans go up and so do these taxes! I can’t seem to buy a car or even a phone for that matter, which can last longer than a year without me doing something to fix it. It’s one thing to avoid traps in the woods but I feel like I was born in one. I don’t even feel worthy to be a pawn in this chess game. I feel more like the board you unfold and each move of a pawn is a couple hundred lives that just got stepped on. I’m just a speck that makes up that black or white box.”

“Bo, you must understand that everyone is unique. Everyone that breathes has a purpose here, it’s just those reasons are not clear. Look back down at the water. Do you see what’s beneath your feet? ”

“Are you talking about my reflection? ”

“No, I am talking about the waves. The slow and calm ripples of god’s skin”

“How can god have skin like the ocean? ”

“That’s like asking how can light make you see. But you only see as much as your eyes are capable of seeing; meaning there is so much just waiting to be discovered you just can’t discover it yet.”

“I don’t really understand! ” I answer confusingly

“This water that circles beneath your feet and those waves that caress your skin is it not beautiful. If the ocean is beauty then you must be beauty as well if you can see your reflection in something so beautiful. If you pick your mothers favorite flower from a garden and stare into the flower. You will probably envision your mother in the flower, making your mother equally as beautiful, right? ”

“You do have a point”

“How you look is only the shell of where the real masterpiece is being created. It’s your heart that you must mold into the work of art. If you spend less time on your heart and more on your appearance you will fall apart from the inside out. Our society today is a prime example! You are small in scale to the world. But nature is always moving, that is why even the smallest things are just as important as the big. Because even a pebble makes a difference in the entire ocean”

I close my eyes and day dream about my flaws and everything he said. I feel my body filling with enlightenment and motivation. While my eyes are close I pay more attentions to my senses. I can hear the breeze whistling in my ear more clearly. I feel the water gently crashing into my legs like titanic. I feel the sand from under the water slowly embrace my feet more and more with each second that I remain standing there. My senses have risen and my fingertips are tingling. Then I feel a hand grab me on my shoulder pulling me in a direction to go back. I quickly open my eyes and no one was there! This entire time, NO ONE WAS THERE. I look down at my hands and I see these fingerprints on my finger tips and realize that I have purpose engraved in me from the day I was born.

I stare into the sky and feel the sun adore my face, and I smile...

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