In families children tend to take on stock roles, as if there were hats hung up in some secret place, visible only to the children. Each succeeding child selects a hat and takes on that role: the good child, the black sheep, the clown, and so forth.
(Ellen Galinsky (20th century), U.S. author and researcher. Between Generations, ch. 3 (1981).)
If a child is feeling disappointed, angry, or afraid about something, you can be sympathetic and understanding. But you don't need to get into your child's shoes and become disappointed, angry, or afraid yourself. Parents help by standing by their children, not by taking over their children's moods and feelings.
(Saf Lerman (20th century), U.S. parenting specialist and writer. Helping Children as They Grow, ch. 1 (1983).)
When a child keeps asking you to tell him/her a story, what they instinctively really want to know - is their true purpose and mission in life. Sadly, this knowledge was never sought out by their parents, and explains why children's books are a very hot and lucrative industry. Instead of telling your child the truth of our history and existence, you are conditioned by society to simply read your kid a fairytale.
No child ever has too much self-esteem. If you take every possible opportunity to point out what children do well, praise them descriptively for it and express appreciation, your child will become more cooperative, competent and confident.
(Nancy Samalin (20th century), U.S. author and parent educator. Loving Your Child Is Not Enough, ch. 6 (1987).)
When children are physically hurting each other, we can't let them "work it out themselves." Just as we stop a child from touching a hot stove or running in the street, we need to protect one child from the otherfor the sake of both.
(Nancy Samalin (20th century), U.S. author and parent educator. Loving Your Child Is Not Enough, ch. 8 (1987).)
It is easy to lose confidence in our natural ability to raise children. The true techniques for raising children are simple: Be with them, play with them, talk to them. You are not squandering their time no matter what the latest child development books say about "purposeful play" and "cognitive learning skills."
(Neil Kurshan (20th century), U.S. rabbi. Raising Your Child to Be a Mensch, ch. 3 (1987).)
Awareness has changed so that every act for children, every piece of legislation recognizes that children are part of families and that it is within families that children grow and thriveor don't.
(Bernice Weissbourd (20th century), U.S. president and fellow of Family Focus. "The Maturing Family Support Movement: Shaping Practice and Policy for the '90's," Family Resource Coalition Report (1988).
Excerpts from the speech delivered to the Family Resource Coalition Conference (October 1988).)
A society in which adults are estranged from the world of children, and often from their own childhood, tends to hear children's speech only as a foreign language, or as a lie.... Children have been treated ... as congenital fibbers, fakers and fantasisers.
Indeed, there are no easy correlations between parental ideology, class or race and "successful" child development. Many children the world over have revealed a kind of toughness and plasticity that make the determined efforts of some parents to spare their children the slightest pain seem ironic.
(Robert Coles (20th century), U.S. child psychiatrist. Children of Crisis, ch. 9 (1964).)