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Quotations From ERMA BOMBECK

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  • 1.
    Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.
    Erma Bombeck (b. 1927), U.S. journalist. quoted in Detroit Free Press (Aug. 10, 1978).

    Read more quotations about / on: suicide
  • 2.
    It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
    Erma Bombeck (20th century), U.S. humorist and author. Motherhood, the Second Oldest Profession, introduction (1983).

    Read more quotations about / on: today
  • 3.
    With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them.
    Erma Bombeck (20th century), U.S. humorist and author. Motherhood, the Second Oldest Profession, ch. 8 (1983).

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  • 4.
    Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
    Erma Bombeck (20th century), U.S. humorist and author. Motherhood, the Second Oldest Profession, ch. 21 (1983).

    Read more quotations about / on: children, people
  • 5.
    Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economic level, convenience, or previous experience.
    Erma Bombeck (20th century), U.S. humorist and author. Motherhood, the Second Oldest Profession, introduction (1983).

    Read more quotations about / on: world
  • 6.
    You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
    Erma Bombeck (b. 1927), U.S. journalist, and Andr. "Empty Fridge, Empty Nest," San Francisco Examiner (Oct. 1, 1978).

    Read more quotations about / on: dying, family, death
  • 7.
    It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
    Erma Bombeck (20th century), U.S. humorist. As quoted in Woman to Woman, by Julia Gilden and Mark Riedman (1994).

    Read more quotations about / on: car, children
  • 8.
    Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
    Erma Bombeck (20th century), U.S. humorist and author. As quoted in Woman to Woman, by Julia Gilden and Mark Riedman (1994).

    Read more quotations about / on: car, birth
  • 9.
    Children make your life important.
    Erma Bombeck (late 20th-century), U.S. humorist and author. Motherhood, the Second Oldest Profession, ch. 25 (1983).

    Read more quotations about / on: children, life
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