Quotations From MARK TWAIN [SAMUEL LANGHORNE CLEMENS]

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• 31.

  I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. 1907. Eli Stormfield, in "Extracts from Capt. Stormfield's Visit to Heaven," p. 835, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910, Library of America (1992).
  
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• 32.

  To succeed in the other trades, capacity must be shown; in the law, concealment of it will do.

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 37, Following the Equator (1897).
• 33.

  It is an art apart. Saint Francis of Assisi said—"All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep hotel."

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Mark Twain's Notebook, ed. Albert B. Paine (1935).
• 34.

  Satan (impatiently) to Newcomer: The trouble with you Chicago people is, that you think you are the best people down here; whereas you are merely the most numerous.

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 60, Following the Equator (1897).
  
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• 35.

  Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Which Was the Dream?" (Written 1897), published in Which Was the Dream and Other Symbolic Writings, ed. John S. Tuckey (1967). Unfinished story; real name is Samuel Langhorne Clemens.
  
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• 36.

  There are several good protections against temptations but the surest is cowardice.

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Following the Equator, ch. 36, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," (1897). The epigram also appears as an entry, 1898, in Twain Notebook, ch. 31, ed. Albert Bigelow Paine (1935).
• 37.

  There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar," ch. 56, Following the Equator (1897).
  
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• 38.

  India has 2,000,000 gods, and worships them all. In religion other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire.

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. Following the Equator, ch. 43 (1897).
• 39.

  By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "More Maxims of Mark," p. 941, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910, Library of America (1992).
• 40.

  As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

  Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835-1910), U.S. author. "Seventieth Birthday Speech," p. 715, Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches, & Essays, 1891-1910, Library of America (1992).