Quotations From MORRIE RYSKIND


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  • Money will never make you happy and happy will never make you money. That may be a wise crack, but I doubt it.
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, Robert Florey, and Joseph Santley. Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx), The Cocoanuts, as the Florida hotel owner explains value of money to bellboys he is trying not to pay (1929). Ryskind adapted this film from original Broadway play by George Kaufman.

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  • I'll meet you tonight under the moon. Oh, I can see you now—you and the moon. You wear a neck-tie so I'll know you.
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, Robert Florey, and Joseph Santley. Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx), The Cocoanuts, trying to make love to the wealthy Mrs. Potter (Margaret Dumont) (1929). Ryskind adapted this film from original Broadway play by George Kaufman.

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  • I hope all your teeth have cavities, and don't forget abscess makes the heart grow fonder.
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, Robert Florey, and Joseph Santley. Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx), The Cocoanuts, insulting his bumbling shill Chico (Chico Marx) at an auction of worthless real estate (1929). Ryskind adapted this film from original Broadway play by George Kaufman.

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  • Your eyes, your eyes, they shine like the pants of a blue serge suit. That's not a reflection on you—it's on the pants.
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, Robert Florey, and Joseph Santley. Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx), The Cocoanuts, trying to make love to the wealthy Mrs. Potter (Margaret Dumont) (1929). Ryskind adapted this film from original Broadway play by George Kaufman.

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  • On this site we're going to build an Eye and Ear Hospital. This is going to be a sight for sore eyes.
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, Robert Florey, and Joseph Santley. Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx), The Cocoanuts, pointing out portions of a blueprint to Chico (Chico Marx) (1929). Ryskind adapted this film from original Broadway play by George Kaufman.
  • Get some onions, they will make your eyes water.
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, Robert Florey, and Joseph Santley. Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx), The Cocoanuts, responding to a guest's request for "ice water," (1929). Ryskind adapted this film from original Broadway play by George Kaufman.

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  • Say, the next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you, will you?
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, Robert Florey, and Joseph Santley. Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx), The Cocoanuts, as he grows frustrated with Chico (Chico Marx) explaining a simple concept to him (1929). Ryskind adapted this film from original Broadway play by George Kaufman.

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  • Ever since I've met you, I've swept you off my feet.
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, and Victor Heerman. Captain Jeffery T. Spaulding (Groucho Marx), Animal Crackers, attempting to romance Mrs. Rittenhouse (Margaret Dumont) (1929). Ryskind adapted this from original Broadway play by George Kaufman, Ryskind, Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.
  • Pardon me, I was using the subjunctive instead of the past tense. Yes, we're away past tents. We're living in bungalows now.
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, and Victor Heerman. Captain Jeffery T. Spaulding (Groucho Marx), Animal Crackers, explaining English grammar to Mrs. Whitehead (Margaret Irving) (1929). Ryskind adapted this from original Broadway play by George Kaufman, Ryskind, Bert Kalmar and Harry Ruby.
  • Why a duck? Why-a no chicken?
    Morrie Ryskind, U.S. screenwriter, Robert Florey, and Joseph Santley. Chico (Chico Marx), The Cocoanuts, a question posed when hotel owner Mr. Hammer (Groucho Marx) points out a "viaduct" on a blueprint (1929). Ryskind adapted this film from original Broadway play by George Kaufman.
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