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Quotations From ROBERT BENCHLEY

» More about Robert Benchley on Poemhunter

 

  • 1.
    We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew, "Isn't It Remarkable?" Harper & Brothers (1936).

    Read more quotations about / on: people
  • 2.
    In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. Of All Things! "Gardening Notes," Henry Holt (1921).

    Read more quotations about / on: beautiful
  • 3.
    I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. No Poems or Around the World Backwards and Sideways, "Hiccoughing Makes Us Fat," Harper & Brothers (1932).

    Read more quotations about / on: hair, life
  • 4.
    I once heard a woman laugh at that most tragic moment in all drama, the off-stage shot in "The Wild Duck," and I afterward had her killed, so there will be no more of that out of her.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. No Poems or Around the World Backwards and Sideways, "Matinées—Wednesdays and Saturdays," Harper & Brothers (1932).

    Read more quotations about / on: woman
  • 5.
    We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. No Poems or Around the World Backwards and Sideways, "Here You Are—Taxi," Harper & Brothers (1932).
  • 6.
    What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. No Poems or Around the World Backwards and Sideways, "The Wreck of the Sunday Paper," Harper & Brothers (1932).

    Read more quotations about / on: sunday, people
  • 7.
    The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew, "Quick Quotations," Harper & Brothers (1936).
  • 8.
    The art of cursing people seems to have lost its tang since the old days when a good malediction took four deep breaths to deliver and sent the outfielders scurrying toward the fence to field.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew, "The Curse Shortage," Harper & Brothers (1936).

    Read more quotations about / on: lost, people
  • 9.
    A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew, "Coffee Versus Gin," Harper & Brothers (1936).

    Read more quotations about / on: family, death
  • 10.
    This was like stealing thunder from a child.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew, "The Rope Trick Explained," Harper & Brothers (1936).

    Read more quotations about / on: child
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