Treasure Island

Quotations From ROBERT BENCHLEY

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  • 31.
    This has been illustrated copiously each day with photographs taken by the author, reproduced by means of cuts such as only French newspaper-engravers can make, presumably etched on pieces of bread.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. The Treasurer's Report and Other Aspects of Community Singing, "French News," Grosset & Dunlap (1930).
  • 32.
    Next would come the muskrats, then the mongeese, and then, in sly succession, the larger, more vivid animals. When one is experimenting with a new drink the fewer livestock there are around the better.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. My Ten Years in a Quandary and How They Grew, "Skol!" Harper & Brothers (1936).
  • 33.
    The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. No Poems or Around the World Backwards and Sideways, "How I Create," Harper & Brothers (1932).

    Read more quotations about / on: smart, time, people
  • 34.
    Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. No Poems or Around the World Backwards and Sideways, "Fall In!" Harper & Brothers (1932).
  • 35.
    He will watch you while you work, and always has a good word to say or a quip to snap at you to keep you cheered up, but when it comes to taking off his coat and lending a hand,... he is an Oriental incense-holder on the guest-room mantle.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. Of All Things! "A Little Debit," Henry Holt (1921).

    Read more quotations about / on: work
  • 36.
    If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. Pluck and Luck, "Looking Shakespeare Over," Henry Holt (1925).

    Read more quotations about / on: today
  • 37.
    And so it goes, back and forth, good church-members all, which means that their banter contains nothing off-color, and by the same token, nothing that was coined later than the first batch of buffalo nickels.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. Pluck and Luck, "The Church Supper," Henry Holt (1925).

    Read more quotations about / on: color
  • 38.
    Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P.M., when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. The Treasurer's Report and Other Aspects of Community Singing, "The Sunday Menace," Grosset & Dunlap (1930).

    Read more quotations about / on: sunday, sun, life
  • 39.
    Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to end up by wearing all the skin of his left ear from twirling around on it.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. Liberty Magazine (c. 1932). Benchley Lost and Found, "A Brief Course in World Politics," Dover Publications (1970).
  • 40.
    People who begin sentences with "I may be old-fashioned but—" are usually not only old-fashioned but wrong. I never thought the time would come when I should catch myself leading off with that crack. But I feel it coming on right now.
    Robert Benchley (1889-1945), U.S. writer, humorist. Chips Off the Old Benchley, "Writers—Right or Wrong," Harper & Brothers (1949).

    Read more quotations about / on: time, people
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