Quotations From WILL ROGERS

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  • 1.
    Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
    Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist. Wit and Wisdom, p. 39, ed. Jack Lait (1936).
  • 2.
    When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do—well, that's Memoirs.
    Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist. The Autobiography of Will Rogers, ch. 16 (1949).

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  • 3.
    The United States never lost a war or won a conference.
    Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist. Quoted in Wit and Wisdom, p. 18, ed. Jack Lait (1936). Remark following the Versailles Peace Conference, in which President Woodrow Wilson spurned all suggestions that the United States should take territory or payment following its participation in World War I....

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  • 4.
    You can't say that civilization don't advance ... for in every war they kill you a new way.
    Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist. The Autobiography of Will Rogers, ch. 14 (1949).

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  • 5.
    There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.
    Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist. The Autobiography of Will Rogers, ch. 6 (1949).

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  • 6.
    People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide.
    Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist. "Helping the Girls with Their Income Taxes," The Illiterate Digest (1924).

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  • 7.
    Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
    Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist. "Defending My Soup Plate Position," The Illiterate Digest (1924).
  • 8.
    The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal—they have to live off each other—while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
    Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist. Best of Will Rogers, ch. 4, ed. Bryan Sterling (1979).
  • 9.
    I don't know jokes; I just watch the government and report the facts.
    Will Rogers (1879-1935), U.S. humorist. "A Rogers Thesaurus," Saturday Review (Aug. 25, 1962).
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