Quotations From WILSON MIZNER


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  • Working for Warner Brothers is like fucking a porcupine: it's a hundred pricks against one.
    Wilson Mizner (1876-1933), U.S. dramatist, wit. Quoted in Bring on the Empty Horses, "Degrees of Friendlness," David Niven (1975).
  • Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
    Wilson Mizner (1876-1933), U.S. dramatist, wit. Quoted in The Legendary Mizners, ch. 4, Alva Johnson (1953). Also attributed to the comic Jimmy Durante.

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  • If you steal from one author, it's plagiarism; if you steal from many, it's research.
    Wilson Mizner (1876-1933), U.S. dramatist, wit. Quoted in The Legendary Mizners, ch. 4, Alva Johnson (1953).
  • A trip through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat.
    Wilson Mizner (1876-1933), U.S. dramatist, wit. Quoted in The Legendary Mizners, ch. 4, Alva Johnson (1953). Mizner's description of Hollywood was reworked by Mayor James J. Walker: "A reformer is a guy who rides through a sewer in a glass-bottomed boat." (Speech as mayor of New York, 1928).
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