Rachel Hubbard

I have tried so hard so many times
to find,
A man to treat me right
A man who will hold me close so tight
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I want so deeply to just speak my mind or speak my heart I should say.
It feels as though every time I try I choke or am scared but holding it in brings more pain each day.
The words are so clear in my mind
but when ever I try to speak them it's as if I become blind.
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Each day I wake up reminded of my mistakes, my failures, my regrets, and my past.
How long will this last?
Reminded each day this is my life I've nearly wasted,
So many times I've faced death so closely tasted.
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Lifes been up and down been to hell and back everythings fell apart I have picked up the pieces of my broken life and shattered heart and repeatedly tried to put them back in place yet everytime it feels as though its a broken record torn n stepped on like its nothing like I dont matter when things seem to be going good they fall when will this broken record I call life end?
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I've taken in so much pain cried so many tears hurt so many people in my past my hearts been ripped to shreds numerous times. And numerous times I've picked up the pieces and tried to start over but, repeatedly I fell back into the same hopless paths same uncaring friends.
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My mind crammed so full of emotion
yet I cannot express my feelings, like I have no motivation
But my heart sits here trying so hard to put into words whats on my mind,
but when it comes to putting my thoughts into words I feel so blind,
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