Randy Johnson


Comments about Randy Johnson

  • Gene Gamble (1/26/2009 9:22:00 PM)

    God wants us to be happy: In this poem your route to heaven in theology & Truth is in error. There was a price that was paid and it is a choice. Not of works. Read John 3: 16 again. Make what one is accountable for, not of misleading in the teachings of the Gospel message. Let the Spirit guide you. God bless.

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  • Native Dreamer (1/7/2009 5:04:00 PM)

    'I told you I was sick' words written on the great comedian Spike Milligans headstone. Humours a great force of social change keep it up. Maybe if you did it on the streets you might get loose change. Dont be crude cause it might turn nude I speak in rhyme all the time. This comment is dragging on sorry keep on enjoying writing.

  • Corey Threet (6/13/2008 8:48:00 PM)

    You have some very humorous poems I love your style unfortunately Frozen tongue was not fictional in my lol thnx for the entrainment

  • Tyease Collins Tyease Collins (5/29/2008 7:31:00 PM)

    'He looka lika man' Hilarious show and poem. That was too priceless.

    nice

  • unknown Viper (1/2/2008 6:34:00 PM)

    on'Loch Ness monster raped me'. very funny...maybe to propagate its specie :)

  • Sasha Anonymous (9/6/2007 7:16:00 AM)

    Marvelous writing... ^_^

  • Emily =) (4/6/2007 10:13:00 AM)

    I love all of your poems they are filled with humor and sadness, light hearted and serious-brilliant.

  • Buried Alive (12/24/2006 7:36:00 PM)

    I found 'I had sex with my mother-in-law' to be the funniest one I read.I was
    laughing my head off. I wonder if you will be writing a second part to it.

  • Jeff Hobbs Jeff Hobbs (7/24/2006 7:55:00 AM)

    Loved the crammed things up your ass poem - I thought it was going to suck a pineapple, instead it inserted one! Very funny, very very funny. You should allow comments on your poems so that you can bathe in the glory!

  • Untitiled and unnamed (6/29/2006 9:53:00 PM)

    X Ray Glasses,

    Hey I really liked this, such a fun poem, something I am sure all teenage boys

    wished they had, had at one time or another...

Best Poem of Randy Johnson

800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
She weighs 800 pounds and I married her when I was drunk.
She eats and eats and my bank account has significantly shrunk.
She rolled over on me in bed and broke fifteen of my bones.
I wish she'd pack her bags and leave me on my own.
She's mean, she has warts on her face and it's tearing me apart.
When we go out in public, she always farts.
When she passes gas, it's louder than TNT and it really stinks.
I should've listened to my parents when they told me never to drink.
She...

Read the full of 800 Pounds

A Day Of Bad Luck

All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.

A guy tried to take my taxi so he and I had a bout.
I thought I could win but he turned me inside out.
I learned that I have a jaw that's made of glass.
I lost several of my teeth when that guy kicked my ass.

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