Randy Johnson Poems

Hit Title Date Added
181.
One Of The Greatest Dogs On The Planet

I adopted Agnes six years ago today.
She'll be my dog until she passes away.
I named my Chihuahua after my late mother.
She's my dog and I won't trade her for any other.
...

182.
My Name Is Horace

In 1987, he starred in a movie that was called 'The Monster Squad'.
At a very young age, he died and went to Heaven to be with God.
Two other movies that he starred in were 'Home Free' and 'Dance 'Til Dawn'.
When he died of Pneumonia in 1997, it was hard to believe that he was gone.
...

183.
Princess Peach Turned Out To Be A Snob

I had to travel through eight worlds to save Princess Peach.
But she's about as warm and caring as a blood sucking leech.
After killing seven fake Bowsers, I finally destroyed the real one.
I did it to save Peach but it was something I shouldn't have done.
...

184.
Chun Li Kicks People's Asses

Her name is Chun Li and she first appeared in Street Fighter II.
Don't make this woman angry or she'll beat the hell out of you.
Many people make a comment that embarrasses her and her face turns red.
They tell her that she's supposed to wear her bra on her chest instead of her head.
...

185.
Happy 49th Birthday

If John hadn't died because of drugs, he would've turned forty-nine today.
If John hadn't died, his fiftieth birthday would've been just one year away.
The paramedics had planned to perform CPR but they saw it was something John didn't need.
They quickly learned that performing CPR would've done no good so they did not proceed.
...

186.
An Entire Nation Still Mourns

One minute everything was fine but the next, everything went sour.
Terrorists hijacked some planes and attacked the World Trade Towers.
Because of those damn terrorists,2,977 innocent people were killed.
They attacked the World Trade Towers which took six years to build.
...

187.
My Stolen General Lee

Last week while I slept, my damn neighbor decided to rob me.
He stole my car which was an identical copy of the General Lee.
As I painted the car, he told me not to include the flag that was on top.
When he saw me adding the flag, the damn fool demanded that I stop.
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188.
I Love The Autumn

Fall is my second favorite season of the year.
I love the Autumn as much as people love beer.
The leaves will change color and fall from the trees.
When it comes to the Autumn, it is sure to please.
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189.
You Ruined My Birthday

A man's birthday only comes around once a year.
You wanted revenge because I drank your last beer.
You decided to get even by ruining my birthday.
You got even by giving me the new Doctor Who on Blu-ray.
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190.
Chicken Shit

When it comes to my neighbor, I usually have a fit.
He irritates the hell out of me and he's a chicken shit.
He has wild parties that last until 3 A.M.
I'm sick of having to put up with him.
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