Randy Johnson Poems

My cousin bought a horse and he fell off when he attempted to ride.
People told him to quit but he tried and tried.
He never gave up and he was never scared.
He learned how to ride that horse because he persevered.
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I got mugged and I was beaten, stabbed and left to die.
I couldn't get any help from the people who walked by.
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(This is a fictional poem)

When my friend and I went deer hunting, I accidentally shot a doe.
If you're wondering if I got away with it, the answer is no.
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I'm a hillbilly who eats possums, squirrels and chipmunks too.
Alvin and the Chipmunks came to my house and I turned them into stew.
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You have a drinking problem but you can overcome it if you try.
I pity you because of the great pain I see in your eyes.
Some people judge you because you drink.
But nobody is perfect and I think that judging you stinks.
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Mario captured and locked up a big brown ape.
It was up to the gorilla's son to help him escape.
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My teenage nephew is a wimp.
He gets beat up by a shrimp.
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(Dedicated to Victor French who died of cancer on June 15,1989)

You starred on Highway to heaven, Carter country and even on Little house on the prairie.
It's sad to know that you are dead and buried.
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Honda makes a great bike.
But there was one Honda I never liked.
My Honda was a piece of junk.
It was an XR75 and it stunk.
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I'm getting tired of hearing your silly complaints.
You're angry because your husband isn't a saint.
Your husband forgets and leaves the toilet seat up and you think this isn't very nice.
You think you have it bad but you're really living in paradise.
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