Randy Johnson Poems

All I want is something good to eat.
But all you ever serve are pigs feet.
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Christmas is supposed to be a day of great joy.
But in less than one hour we'll all be destroyed.
Nuclear missiles are being launched and all of our lives will end.
You'd better get ready to say goodbye to your family and friends.
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A new law is being passed in Tennessee.
A law that's so great that I'm filled with glee.
Because of this new law, many people won't die.
This law will only be for people who get arrested for DUI.
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What you're doing is nasty and cruel.
You're insulting my friend because he dropped out of school.
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My neighbor does something that's out of sight.
He has babies by himself because he's a hermaphrodite.
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Tonight at 12 A.M.2010 will end.
Tomorrow a new year begins.
Out with the old, in with the new.
I hope 2011 will be a great year for you.
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When I was eight, I accidentally saw my aunt naked
and now I'm scarred for life.
I've never been able to make love and I'll never have a wife.
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I can't believe what I heard.
You called my friend the N word.
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My four friends and I did something that we would regret.
We put one bullet in a gun and played russian roulette.
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I'm a cave man who carries a club.
I'm very dirty because I live in a cave and I've never seen a bathtub.
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