Rayjean Carter

I believe in nothing
As nothing up there exist
I appear to be in a deep depression
As other people are sick
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I love it when i'm with him
i'm sittting there,
his arm around me,
my arms sitting on his waist,
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Nobody Understands
the way i feel
how i act
how i dress
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Love is unconditional
Undefined
Unknown
Through the loved one's eyes
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I wouldn't be here without it
Medicine
She's the only one who understands
Mom
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Originality is key
To me
'Hehehe, ' my signature laugh
of Originality
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Im wonderin. Just wonderin y im alive. Got this phsyco mom. Dont kno my dad. Y? just wonderin y. Y my grandma aint take me. y that dad of mine, wen he left me aint take me. y? y did i have to stay, with a lady, that dont got the ability to move. the will to believe, the confidence to survive. im livin witha pshycopath that dont kno the difference between a fire alarm and an alarm clock. i knew somthin was wrong the day i cud talk. the day i cud walk. i learned all i kno on my own. im alone in dis world of drama with no close family to go to. i label them peeps of mine friends wen they can't stick wit me till the end. I was wonderin y i get nervous around that guy who can't even say hi to me or stop by once in a while. I was wonderin y i cut myself every otha night wen i cud just take the knife and put it straight to my heart. i was wonderin y im chokin off her stank. so crazy she cant take a shower everyday. Im tired of wonderin y im bein Put down by these haters and stuck-ups who have nuffin to hate on. i shud b hatin on them. i was wonderin y they put me down wen im already down to the ground with low-self-esteem and no hope of tomorrow and wishes of no tomorrow. im wonderin y nobody seems to love me like i wanna love myself. im wonderin y i cant find the answer to those so called prayers of mine. im wonderin y there's a god wen he cant hear everyone's call. im wonderin y im here., in school with straight A's and good grades wen my life is a big fat E. I wish my life cud b betta but nobody gets wat they wish for nowadays. Im wonderin y im just findin out that nobody cares and aint nobody gonna care even wen im dead. Im wonderin y i dont get that hug i want wen i really need it. im wonderin y the pplz that i call my best friends cant be there throught the thick and thin. Im wonderin y the clock ticks, the birds sing, the day goes on, y the bell rings. The answer to everything is hidden and i dont want it to b found. I'll b disappointed and ready to go underground

P.S.: this isn't my usual 'poem writing grammar' but its how i felt i shud let it out.
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IVE COME TO REALIZE SOMTHING.
ive had my bad days.
and ive had my good days.
Then my emotions went haywire. I didnt know how to control them.
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A smile on my face
Negative energy erased
Broken Heart Mended
Open-Minded
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I woke up this morning, and dried my tears
Ate some breakfast, took a shower, and cleaned out my ears.
Its a new day, leave the past behind.
Don't mop and whine.
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Its a passion to hurt
It hurts with a passion
The pain subsides
So i want it back again.
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He said 'Good-Bye' and i died inside.
I lost hope.
I let myself go.
I said no to all the open opportunites
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L.eveled feelings being unbalanced

O.verpowering blanket of emotions
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L.uxurious
O.pened
L.augh of secrecy
'LOL'
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W.hat a moment

O.n the spot moment
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I look at the stars, the sky, the clouds
I can hear all the sounds
The breeze
The bees
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the days go on and all i do is look at the grass.
my sympathy for grass is intimidating.
It know how it feels. Its just like me.
It grows to it's tallest point. like i advance to my highest happiness.
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Confusing always overshadows the happyness you took away from me.
The will to believe repressed by the need to need. The need to want,
It bottles up inside until I scream with the happyness of letting go.
I do my best to hide that i still love you.
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Crying the tears of jealousy. It's all not fair to me.
None of it makes sense and all you do is complain,
but you have everything.
don't talk to me when there's nothing to compare,
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