Sharron Meaker

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The Best Poem Of Sharron Meaker

Silenced

There are times I feel wonderful
Super girl on the playground!
Fighting the forces of evil to save my ant friends!
With a flowing cap and flowing hair no super villain can stop me!
There are days I feel invincible
Like no one could hold me down because my strength is too great!
I run like a girl.
I fight like a girl
I save the world like a girl
Because girls hold strength
We are superheroes!

There are times I feel incredible
As a STEM major in college I'm one of the only girls in most of my classes.
In Physics, I'm one of six
In engineering, I'm one of four
But I'm top of my class and I'm on track to be an intern at a huge engineering cooperation
Sometimes I feel on top of the world
I don't mind being one of the only girls
In fact, I like it a lot
The other girls and I have formed these bonds
Almost immediate friends because we're the same in many ways

There are times I feel powerful
Since I was 16 I have the dream of become a general in the military
I trained for years.
Played every sport possible and made sure that all my test scores would get me into the military academy.
I was top of my class at the academy and I was now bounds closer to seeing my dream come true.
Somedays I feel strong
When I was shipped out my very first time, I was the only woman in a fleet of 50.49 men and me.
But they knew I could hold my own and we all knew I was one of the best in this fleet.
I felt strong.
Confident and totally in charge.


Some days are harder than others
School gets tough. That's a given. But sometimes it's the people that get to you.
Some girls dropped. Became nurses or teachers. Just decided that STEM wasn't for them.
I remember walking into my physic class one day about 2 months into the semester and none of the other girls were there. Last week it was just me and Cassie and when I texted her, she said she dropped.
I was now the only girl in the entire class of boys and suddenly felt weird.
Almost uncomfortable. I didn't really get why, but I knew I wasn't leaving.

Sometimes I get a little lonely
I, as a superhero, aim to protect my play ground!
So I decide to team up with the other superheroes on my playground
All of them are boys, who have cooties, but my playground depend on me!
So I, their hero, calls a meeting of the super heroes.
2 o'clock during recess, the heroes are to meet at the swings
I sit among the screaming and chaos and wait
But none of the other superheroes come

Some moments I am afraid
I knew the field would be hard, but sometimes I never expected it to be this hard.
We are constantly sent out for runs and constantly made contact with.
I've been shot at hundreds of times and it hasn't even been a month.
It gets tough when you're out here without any other girls, there were 10 of us in the military academy.
I miss the girls I graduated with.
I don't know where they are or if any of them are grouped together in a fleet. I know they're fine where ever they are, but I miss them anyways.

Somedays I don't feel wonderful
Recess ended and it was time to go back inside.
Teacher doesn't make me take off my cap if I don't want to, so I keep it on.
In the middle of math I hear giggles from across the room.
The boys who are supposed to be the other super heroes of our playground are laughing at me. Making faces and one boy from across the room calls me stupid.
I feel my face turn bright red. I do feel stupid. They think I'm not a good superhero for my playground. Maybe they're right. They think because I'm a girl I can't be a good hero.

Somedays I don't feel wonderful
At some point I stopped getting called on in class.
I still get As on homework and tests. I'm still top of the class grade wise, but I never get to speak in class anymore.
After class one day I decided to ask my professor if I needed to move seats, if he just couldn't see me or what.
He told me I was a great student, but that a female voice had no business being in his honors class. The other girls had dropped and he didn't know why I was still there. He said there were reasons women weren't in STEM and it's because we aren't strong enough. He told me that he will not be calling on me in class and that was the end of it. I felt like the air had been sucked form my lungs. I had heard stories of women being told they couldn't be big time scientists, but that's what I thought they were: stories.

Somedays I don't feel wonderful
Two months in, the guys stopped talking to me. Total isolation.
I knew that newbies were hazed sometimes in the field, but I graduated the academy with some of these guys.
I was supposed to be their equal.
One day we were sent out into the field, typical 5 mile walk around the perimeter when suddenly me and three other guys were caught in gunfire. Protocol is to fall back, to take cover and shoot from there. Three of us fell back for cover, but Thompson charged. Went in further to the gunfire. Before any of us could register what was going on, Thompson was shot down.
The isolation got worse after that. The guys blamed me for Thompson. Like I was the reason he broke protocol.
They blamed me for the situation even happening because I was a woman and attracted negative attention to our base.
They told me that I didn't belong there and should be a good little girl and go home and have some kids and stay home.
They said if I were to stay, I'd get more men killed because of my stupidity and weakness.
My blood boiled with rage and tears welled in my eyes. But I refused to cry, right now was not a good time to show weakness.

Somedays I don't feel wonderful
But I know I am.
I know I am strong
I know I am smart
I know I am brave
Somedays I don't feel wonderful.
But I will not be silenced.

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