something changing Poems

One year ago today...
The world came crashing down
Our lives fell to pieces
But no one heard a sound
...

i dreamed i killed myself today
i swallowed the pills to kill the pain
but something happened: something strange
it seems the pain didn't go away
...

I want to feel your grin
As your lips are pressed against mine
I want to feel the rumble of your laugh
As your chest is pressed against mine
...

I want to because I can.
Not because
I'm as depressed as I used to be,
or because
...

This strange new idea
That perhaps…
Perhaps this isn't a crime
Perhaps because it makes me happy
...

Stop.
This is a dead end.
Where to now?
Do you stand there?
...

Almost every night
Dreams to make me cringe
To lay wide awake
Petrified to close my eyes
...

I see the blood
Their faces
With blank open eyes
The three of them
...

I am worn
Exhausted by the light of dawn
Exhausted by your lingering words
Even with heavy eyelids
...

Gravity
Tie me down
Keep me planted
On the ground
...