Almost There Poem by Anthony Martello

The steps weren't high enough
the ladder only went to rung eleven
getting to the sky is tough
his ashes scattered on the way to heaven

It went from mourning to grieving
the morning after leaving
I'm scorning and schemeing
trying to get away from the needing

confusion and pain
delusion and blame
look at us now
we'll always remember his name

these words are so elementary
these tears are complimentary
they come f.o.c. there is no fee for me
now let's see how this life is gonna be for me

so much anger in the kid
like a can I popped my lid
all I wanted was for him to just live
but he didn't and now I gotta explain that to my kids

dad I'll never forget you
you know that I miss you
even though you're gone I feel like I'm with you
if only just to playfully diss you

He's in the B.C.C
the Braddock Catholic Cemetery
that's where I've laid most of my immediate family tree
that's where I'll be when it's decided for me to see G

every year we add another name to the list
just another kid getting more twisted and pissed
cause they lost their mom cause they lost their dad
saying goodbye to all the dreams they had

I lost my dad at seventeen
who else goes through that
but i knew i had a place to lean
and all the others knew that

just waiting for me to join the club
just waiting for me to share my love
I know heaven's skies above
are the only ones who can really be my judge

sometimes I look to the sky and
scream why daddy why
then i look to the ground and
it's cry baby cry

I've been through the worst
but you gotta believe
that I went through Hell first
I'll show you the third degrees

I'm not quite me yet
I may look worse for wear
but you gotta see it
that I'm almost there