Deeper Poem by Andrew Rose

Deeper



It just feels like that, that’s all,
Like I’m slowly sinking deeper within myself,
Unable to communicate in any normal way with people,
Like little bits of me are constantly being chizled away by an artist never able to comprehend the finished article,
Decreasing statue in vain,
Until just the dust on the floor remains,
To be swept away by the wind,
And scattered wherever it may be taken,
No will of its own anymore,
A further decrease,
Into what seems to be a wandering nothing.

I stand on a pillar of stones,
Each one a monument to stability,
Each one rotten in its core,
And each one has to be removed from beneath me,
Until we find a true foundation,
And if one doesn’t exist I will simply fall,
Falling from the crumbling architecture of stability that once held me up,
Only to be shown to be false,
Empty.
Shaking and empty and

alone,

Don’t forget alone,
Can’t forget alone while I wash people out of my life,
Until I’m clean of everything,
Really clean,
Like after a shower,
But a different type of shower,
One that cleans everything,
I long to be wiped out,
And maybe re-submitted somehow.
I would change everything,
Do everything differently,
Be somewhere else,
Or if I cannot be made fresh I’d rather be undone than be what I am now,
Transpiring into nothing,
Tredging through ever decreasing circles,
Circles that offer nothing but endless confinement,
Suffocating circles of which there can and will be no escape,
Let me out,
Pierce a hole so that I may escape this bubble entrapment,
Torture.

Even, if you wish, pierce me,
To stop me doing this to myself,
Stop me destroying myself over and over in my mind,
I know I’m failing to cope,
Psychological death and detatchment from the world,
Don’t leave me slowly dying,
Be decisive,
Be cold,
Be kind.

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