Disease Poem by Caroline Guedes

I don't mean to hurt you
But I've been concealing it for so long
That I feel I might burst
Do you know how it feels to have
a pressure so urgent, something
weighing on you like a terrible curse?

I didn't want to tell you
But my lips ran away from me
and I can't take back the truth
I've been living with this so long
that it's been killing me slowly
like a tree's leafs eventually rot the roots

I don't want you to cry
It's not a burden you had to bear
it was always my own
Somehow, as toxic as it was,
this secret belonged with me and
though I hate it, it's become home

I didn't want it to change us
and I knew it would so I tried
my dearest to hide
It's no one's fault really
No one here to blame, believe me
I've run a list, I have tried

I don't want to lose you
But now you don't look at me
quite like you used to
How could one sentence burn up
all I worked so hard for in life?
this disease brought the end of me and you