I Live Poem by James Grengs

The cold feel of metal against your skull.
You hate you, you hate me, you hate all.
-I said no, you said yes-
Trembling fingers, gingerly toying with your life.
You hate, but life? Breath?
No one there,
Caring,
Loving.
No one with mercy, or any thought
For anyone but themselves.
You hate them, too.
-I would stop you, but I am not there:
You chased me away.-
Anger,
Frustration,
Hate.
Boiling in your soul,
A witches' brew, slowly stealing
Your breath,
Your heart.
Your grip tightens, resolve
Lending strength to your will.
Will to release.
-You are on the brink, I cannot watch.-
Silent prayers,
Falling on the deaf ears
Of your selfish gods of glory.
You are convinced, by the darkness,
That you are right, all right.
-I say wrong, you say right.-
You replay our screams,
The anger. I lie asleep;
It is past midnight.
I am unaware, being blissfully in dreams- elsewhere.
Chill air through your open window.
A brief lucidity, a glimpse in your mind
Of true reality.
Normalcy scares you.
You scream.
But I do not hear it.
-I do not want to know where you are-
The temptation seizes you,
Freedom a finger's width away.
But freedom scares you;
Breath remains.
You hate me. Sudden,
Fierce,
Burning;
Physical pain. You fight
The temptation again.
Your subconscious, battling
Demons,
Ghosts,
Freedom.
-I with my power keep you from freedom.-
You cry, now, tears
Pouring down your cheeks,
Onto the piece of paper before you.
Words scribbled:
DEAR WORLD,
I HATE YOU.
-I love where I am, you hate where I am.-
You see your own words,
Mocking you.
Demon's words,
Hating you,
Inflicting pain.
The temptation comes again,
Screaming, sounding horribly like
A child in pain:
DO IT.
You, standing on a cliff,
Move your finger, and fall,
Not ending.
I hear it, an explosion in the dark,
Awakening me out of a dream-turned-nightmare.
I scream, silently, knowing your pain.
What have I done?
Who has the greater pain now?
-I live.-