Randy Johnson Poems

Hit Title Date Added
1.
800 Pounds

Two years ago I ruined my life when I got a bride.
She's 6'4' tall and about ten feet wide.
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2.
A Date With Pamela Anderson

I met Pamela Anderson and we went on a date.
She was very becoming and everything went great.
It was an honor to date this star.
I made her forget about Tommy Lee and it wasn't hard.
...

3.
Xbox 360

Last Christmas I went to Wal-mart to buy the last XBOX 360 they had.
But a man grabbed it as I reached for it and that made me mad.
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4.
Elvis Presley: The Same Amount Of Time

You've been dead for the same amount of time that you lived, forty-two years.
You were loved and your death devastated each and every one of your peers.
You didn't perform in all fifty states, one state that you missed was Montana.
You performed your last concert on June 26,1977 in the state of Indiana.
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5.
You Got My Sister Pregnant

You got my sister pregnant and refused to take responsibility.
You told her it's her problem and now you have to deal with me.
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6.
100 Dogs

When I was seven, I had 100 dogs and that was too many.
My dad would cuss while my mama spanked my fanny.
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7.
A Day Of Bad Luck

All day long I've had bad luck.
This morning I got on an elevator and it got stuck.
I had a panic attack and thought I was going to die.
I asked a man to put out his cigarette and he stuck it in my eye.
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8.
Symbol Of Love

9.
Don'T Commit Suicide

Don't commit suicide, you can't afford the cost.
If you commit suicide, your soul will be lost.
Your death will bring others nothing but pain and sorrow.
Don't commit suicide, things may improve tomorrow.
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10.
I'M Spider-Man

(This is a fictional poem)

I soar through the air as I shoot webs from my hands.
When people see me, they say there goes Spider-man.
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