Steve Ricketts Poems

Every day seem's different from the one before, it's not the days I'm dreading, but the night that goes before. Each time the night begins it's covering of the sky. I find myself asking for the reason why. Why did you have to leave me, why did we have to part, I need that very reason to satisfy my heart. It is my heart that's broken, and deserve to know the truth, it is that every reason why this hurt won't leave my heart alone.

When the night has fallen and I wait for sleep to come, knowing that my sleep, keeps on avoiding me and so I must keep on chasing this elusive sleep of mine, all while I am trying to get you from my mind, but your forever with me and also close to me, always and forever is what you are to me, often do I wonder if all the things I do. Is it, just to help me keep holding on to you?
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They say the heart's a muscle, the strongest that we have. So may I ask a question. How was it so easy for mine to break in two? They say that scares don't fade, there always on display, let me ask another. Did they not tell me, this pain would go away?

They tell me times a healer, that my pain can not be rushed, that soon I'll start my healing and this hurt won't be as much. How could they even think, that this would be my wish, for without this pain I'm feeling, it would be like I never knew my love.
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This gift of love that we all hold, is meant to last passed getting old. To stay with us for all our time, not just until they're gone from sight. Is it just familiar contempt, that makes us want to declare, this love for one no longer here. Easy word not hard to find. It's time that we can't seem to spare, a minute here a minute there, how they mount and steal away, all the things we did say, are's to do when they're no more. Promises made when hearts are torn, once their mended not so sure.

Promises made with good intent, when eyes were filled with salty tears. Eyes now dry no longer red, allows the mind to see more clear. Thoughts now turn to what they'd say, if we could see them on another day, times too short with non to spare. Perhaps we'll go when rain is though, better still when we see the sun. For we can spend more time with you, once all our work is through.
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Do you know that I love you, because I told you every day, for I would always tell you before I went away. But this time it was different, because I'm still sitting here and it's you my darling Linda that left and gone away from me. You went away in silence, not a word was said, you couldn't even wake, to tell me of the journey that lay ahead, it was all that you could muster to draw your last breath. So finally you left all your pain behind, now I'm sitting here holding onto mine.

I tried to find a new way to express to you, how I am feeling and the Love I have for you, no matter how I start, it still comes out the same, the love I have is forever as long as it's for you. My nights are cold and lonely, without you being here, never would I imagine this is how life would be. Never was a time where you weren't close to me, never did I think that I'd be losing you. How often did I say that I would go before you.
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How am I supposed to keep living, now there’s only me, didn’t we decide together that we would always be. How do I keep this façade, while I'm crying to myself? How can I expect others to know the pain in me. How do I walk through the door, knowing your not there. What’s the point in cooking, if there’s no one there to share? How do I live a normal life, when normal seems so strange, if this is what normal is, then I must be quite insane. How do I forgive friends that suddenly disappear, or all the others who said they’d hold me near?

How have I become, this stranger to them all, is it something I said, or is it nothing after all. I know that I’m different, but what else could I be, is it so surprising when I’m lost within my grief. For my world’s turned upside down and I can’t find my way, is it any wonder, because I’m lost without a trace. How can I give comfort, when it’s comfort that I need. How can I tell others, when I can hardly speak. How do I stop this crying, that never wants to cease. How do I hide my sorrow, when other bring me cheer, do I tell them they'er not needed, for I am doing fine, just to watch the relief, as it escapes from out their minds.
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I'm sitting at the table, it's just gone half past three, I've had to come back down, because I could not sleep. I think about you always, right through out the day, every single evening and at the break of everyday.

I can't help it, I just think of all you went through, there was so much you suffered, with all they did to you, they tried to do their best, I want you to know, that everything they did, they did it all for you.
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Whilst I sit and reflect upon, a life that was but now has gone. I sit and stare the whole day long, wondering where our love has gone. As I watch the breeze that blows, through the trees that you have grown. For when the wind moves through the leaves, it's like I hear you call to me. A voice with tones so soft and sweet, it moves me so, I start to weep. I miss your voice just calling me, for you were my all, my everything.

Where's left now for me go, I've lost my love that's all I know, for you are the very heart of me. I sit and want to talk to you and laugh just like we use to do, I fear those days are now all gone. No more, will I know the smell of you. I think that I would give my all, to see your face smile at me. I know that this can not be, so all I ask is just leave me be, so I can sleep for evermore and wait until I hear you call.
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My bright light went out before me, she left me in the dark. She said she’d never leave me, that we would never part. I know she had to go, I knew she couldn‘t stay, but she could have waited for a while, before she went her way. It could have been much longer, or even just a while, for just to see her smile once more, would have made it all worth while. I might have been contented, I’m not sure if that is true. Am I being selfish, or is this what Love will do? It might be that I’m just a man, but never would I thought, that this dear life before me, would be so cruelly short.

I know I must keep on grieving, I can’t say when this will end, it might be that I’m waiting, to meet my Love again. So if I should suddenly be taken, don’t pity me at all, just think that I’m sleeping, whilst waiting to be called. To find my Love before me, hands cupped about my face. It's then we’ll cry together, for the new joy that will bring, the happiness that escaped us, when her dear life did end.
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I look all around me and all I see is you, I often think about you in everything I do, for it was your foresight that help me every day, it was only because of you that I survive each and every day. I walk around our home and see all your dreams archived.

How we work together to build our happy home, now that you've archived it, you've left me all alone. No more is this, the place that it was before, now it's just a building, a home to me no more. I know all the memories held here, are our's and our's alone, but now your no longer with me, I can't share them on my own and who would really want them apart from you and me.
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