Susan Ash

The warmth of his body
Flows through his touch,
Enfolding me in his universe.
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I wrote him a poem to tell him
How our love felt easy and free,
I wrote about how good it felt
Being allowed to just be me.
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What have I lost that
He doesn’t understand?
My trust in him.
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Where do I fit?
The more time goes by
The same answer
Keeps coming back -
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What do I see
The first time
I look into
Their eyes?
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A man who has trust.
The patience to let
The encounter unfold,
Delight in every touch,
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Can’t understand
These feelings
Jealousy,
Betrayal
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Never happened before
First time today
An “innocent” conversation
Completely took my breath away ……..
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The table is laid,
A place for me.
This is my family.
Yet being all together is
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Today I tried.
I didn’t attack,
I didn’t accuse,
I didn’t criticise.
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She spoke of how
Eager he had been
To come into this world.
How this was to be the
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Accepting your whole
Past, present and future
Absent loves, other friends
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I remember a vast dark ocean,
Sometimes calm, sometimes stormy.
Me swimming for my life,
To stay on the surface,
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White sunlight sparkling
Through the leaves of the willow,
Dancing on the water flowing by.
The black silhouette of one man fishing,
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Funny..
He loves another.
Was happy to have her
In his life as a friend.
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Like trees in winter.
They feel barren,
Stripped of
Their splendour,
...

Early blossoms,
Daffodils and crocus,
Newborn lambs.
The signs are here,
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Would I have found
The way on my own?
Did you help me?
I don’t know.
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Sunday morning.
Hazy sunshine,
Cool Breeze,
Poppies dancing
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In my mind I visualise
The bare rooms
That await me.
I could so easily
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