Tanner Geldart

This life is not what it seems
With all the shining beams of light
Meant to draw you in
But I am here to fill you in
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No matter how much it hurts me
I will watch over you
No matter how much it hurts me
I will protect you
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The first hits struck
The beast comes out
Time for everyone to run and shout
Somethings gone wrong in me
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I've fought the good fight but I ain't no shining knight
The end of my battle is not insight
But I've held this knife for far to long
That's why I'm singing this song
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I cry and scream take me away from this pain
Just let me die please before this life lets me fufill my darkest dreams
So as I wonder why I was never trully alive
I've met my demise with no sadness in my eyes
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I cut myself to live
I cut myself because of life
What an ironic circle
I've worked up in my strife
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I'm trapped and I can't get out
I'm stuck as this monster
No longer the boy you once knew
And now I don't care anymore
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This one is for everytime I've cried
Everytime I've wondered why I'm alive
Why I try to live why I strive to give
This is a warning for all those who care
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I've cried the tears of one thousand years in just fourteen
But there's still more to come cuz nothings won in this insanity
So I'm breaking down to the ground for old times past
But will this endless torture last
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This angel is all I see
But does this angel see any good in me
Can she see that I've fallen for her
But I don't think I can wait anymore
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I'm glad I can't fall to hard
Because I never got my hopes to high
And I'm so glad that part of me died
Now I'm so glad I'll never cry
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I don't know where I'm going
I don't know how long it's been
I know this road leads somewhere
But I can't see the end
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This world is moving far to fast
I'm so confused can't forget my past
Can't figure out if I should stand
Cuz in the end I always fall
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Another sleepless night
Another painful fight
To live everyday as best I can
To try and stand out
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I'm falling back into everything that I tried to leave behind
The good the bad its all making me lose my mind
Might as well be blind cuz I can't see any light in front of me
This rage, depression always the one question
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Everyday your enemys change
But there is one I'll take to my grave
My own worst enemy is myself
The only I can never understand
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Once my saviour
Now makes me waiver on the edge
Of this building losing my head
They said I'd grow out of it
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Nightmares always torturing me
Distorting my view on reality
Making my days so full of insanity
Wondering if these things can really happen to me
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I'm so confused because there is so little of myself left to lose
But its worth the risk one thousand times and more
But everytime I close my eyes I see the cruel reality that my life is built of lies
So I've discovered the true meaning of what my life is meant to be
...