Ted Sheridan Poems

$5000.00 for every new baby born in America
They heard your promise and they will come in droves
With pregnant underbelly and ovens warm
They will come to collect their share of our wealth
...

At least once a day, the thought that I want to die will enter through a worm hole in my brain.
The pain in my toes is relayed to my central nervous center through the numbness of my feet.
The fact that I can't chew a piece of steak or speak without gluing in my front teeth provides only the meekest of smiles to greet the new dawn.
Then there are the two tumors on my head that tick like a quality timepiece with only one hand working and all the while it has been me and not them, wearing the suicide vest set to explode should anyone who loves me try and dial my death on a cheap cell phone by asking if there is a doctor in the house.
...

I hang from the top shelf of a hard life
like a dusty and old lambrequin
Thus tattered by parasitic mites and torn
from the sheer weight of my grasp
...

My heart is a sealed tomb
Harboring within its darkened catacomb
The remains of our passionate love
This old bronzed body
...

my legs ache from walking behind that damn lawnmower
cutting the heads off blades of grass is harder than it sounds
especially at my age.....
then there were those damn gutters and downspouts
...

As the Legend Goes, So Goes the Neighborhood

It was another dark and stormy night
and my wet trousers had been tugging at my balls
...

I am awake in a far distant part of the world
Where parrots chew clay and squawk in compound sentences
About such things as finances and expansive budgets
And the detrimental effects of global climate change
...

Survival may depend on a donation of flesh and blood
The Dead hate the Living and wish to outlaw carnal lust
The Living who are not without feeling can’t keep a straight poker face
Therefore the Dead hold all of the cards and are prepared to call a bluff
...

Escaping the confinement of a tin urn, my ashes
are soon dispensed by a gentle sea breeze
All which remains is lifted like it had wings,
from out of the southeast, warmed
...

In an open air church I was finally cornered and brought
to my knees. A stained glass interpretation of my own immortality
crumbled before my eyes and I was humbled in the presence
of our father. His voice filled the void between my ears and his vision
...