troublesome thug

when i was growing up i always wanted to be that one that u feared
than i woke up one morning an saw a stranger in the mirror.
with eyes so vacant an glazed,
results of living a lyfe in a constant haze.
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Can you take me away dissolve these walls that contain me
lets plan an escape an than turn our fantasy to reality...
can you diminish the pain that seems relentless to leave my soul
can you do the job that no alchol or drug could do an make me feel whole...
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Tha world showed no mercy on me so why should i,
I got a personal vendetta an this game got me meserized.
I'm suicidal with this thug life,
Retaliating for all tha stuff that never went right.
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At tymes i wonder will god really save me in the end,
should i quit while im ahead or keep playin the game to win.
will god show me mercy 4 doin thangs i had to do to maintain
Am i a victem of circumstances or am i the one left to blame.
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Tha screams of broken men crys of lost souls,
With fire runnin through their veins an hearts stone cold.
There is no presence of god between these concrete walls,
In here u got to do what u got to just to maintain,
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Why O why does life gotta be this way
they say its gonna get betta but we still wait for the day.
Seems like every step i move forward im taking two back
an ive takin too many wrong turns i no longer kno where im at.
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I was addicted to your wispers of love like a dope fiend
hustin an grindin is my reality, an what we was chasing was a pipe dream.
I aint no sucka i knew i coulndnt have what we promised each other
always an forever was to much you deserve someone much better.
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I tried to fight it, tried my hardest to stay the same.
Time beat me down, years passed i watched myself began to change.
For the better of worse, a Saint to sinner or vise versa.
Felt the the pain turn to passion, they called me resilient dreams turned into actions.
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I was once on the blocc doin nothin but chasing dreams
bein a shadow to a phantom you kno what i mean.
my goals were only one an that was make it thru the day
an my acheivements was only one an that was if by that tyme i got paid.
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