You are a wonderful poet, with a good command of English literary craft. Great attention to detailed through your descriptive or explicit writing style. However, I would also love to get a glimpse of the implicit side of your vivid imagery.
Alliteration is a great poetic tool when it is used sparingly, but can be viewed as burdensome when forced.
I like this poem, but found it to be somewhat forced, however, Vijay is a fresh voice. I like most of what he writes.
And I will continue to read all that he writes.
In this poem the poet shows that he is able to produce images successfully and then after setting all things correctly to disturb the pictures. Here the poet expresses a personal experience of him about the plant and its dangerous behavior in the dark. But the ending is full of doubt and it shows that the narrator is in doubt bout the plant. I feel that if the writer used ' cat' instead of 'Kitty' it would be more effective.
Hi dear Vijay
These are just my understanding. I always try to point to the problems and you can find them helpful or useless to make your poems better.
The poet knows the formal properties of sounds and enjoyed it. The title has the potential to move beyond the surface of this poem. One respectable idea behind this poem is that it has a critical viewpoint towards the world around us and the poet's sensitivity for the world and its inhabitants but I think the following issues are worth paying attention. This poem enjoys the crisis theory of writing. We get shocked after the peaceful pictures depicted of the birds and we wait for a shocking event. It really happened but I think the tone of the poet's voice should be changed if he wanted to show the disruption and breaking of that peaceful life. I think the poet could have used a tougher sound rather than SSS... in the remaining part of the poem to have the most efficient impact. Another point is that all things are told or reported naturally especially when the poet said: ' let’s Stop them perish and
See them safe and secure! 'or ' Spill of oils' if I were in your place I may have used some metaphors to express the same thing but not directly.
Another point is that a poem should have composition or orchestration. By this I mean when we use an item in the beginning of a poem, that item should have an impact in the end of the poem. But here the poet didn't make any use of their hunting behavior when describing the peaceful life of seagulls. Poetry is not just about alliteration but the effect of it on the audience and I think that when you want to show the tough reality of the situation your linguistic performance should not be the same as showing the peace of their lives.
Seyyed bagher Mirshojaee
Luminescent lightings Spreading over busy by-lanes Much like glittering necklaces Moving people Forming serpentine queues Coconut trees Resembling tiny dots Flowing Cauvery A slender stream
You are a wonderful poet, with a good command of English literary craft. Great attention to detailed through your descriptive or explicit writing style. However, I would also love to get a glimpse of the implicit side of your vivid imagery.
I enjoyed your poem a lot. Very well said in short prose. I'm impressed by your talent
Alliteration is a great poetic tool when it is used sparingly, but can be viewed as burdensome when forced.
I like this poem, but found it to be somewhat forced, however, Vijay is a fresh voice. I like most of what he writes.
And I will continue to read all that he writes.
I REALLY LIKE YOUR STYLE OF WRITING ITS INSPIRING
Your Poem 'A desperate Cry' is so nice.. A real vision towards life which normally ignoring the people...
Hi
'The Art Of Life' is really very nice) and others are not bad as well
i agree with Khilil Perry
About Beautiful Bougainvillea
In this poem the poet shows that he is able to produce images successfully and then after setting all things correctly to disturb the pictures. Here the poet expresses a personal experience of him about the plant and its dangerous behavior in the dark. But the ending is full of doubt and it shows that the narrator is in doubt bout the plant. I feel that if the writer used ' cat' instead of 'Kitty' it would be more effective.
Hi dear Vijay
These are just my understanding. I always try to point to the problems and you can find them helpful or useless to make your poems better.
The poet knows the formal properties of sounds and enjoyed it. The title has the potential to move beyond the surface of this poem. One respectable idea behind this poem is that it has a critical viewpoint towards the world around us and the poet's sensitivity for the world and its inhabitants but I think the following issues are worth paying attention. This poem enjoys the crisis theory of writing. We get shocked after the peaceful pictures depicted of the birds and we wait for a shocking event. It really happened but I think the tone of the poet's voice should be changed if he wanted to show the disruption and breaking of that peaceful life. I think the poet could have used a tougher sound rather than SSS... in the remaining part of the poem to have the most efficient impact. Another point is that all things are told or reported naturally especially when the poet said: ' let’s Stop them perish and
See them safe and secure! 'or ' Spill of oils' if I were in your place I may have used some metaphors to express the same thing but not directly.
Another point is that a poem should have composition or orchestration. By this I mean when we use an item in the beginning of a poem, that item should have an impact in the end of the poem. But here the poet didn't make any use of their hunting behavior when describing the peaceful life of seagulls. Poetry is not just about alliteration but the effect of it on the audience and I think that when you want to show the tough reality of the situation your linguistic performance should not be the same as showing the peace of their lives.
Seyyed bagher Mirshojaee
hi vijay ur poems gain right 2 b appreciate.they r wonderful musem of words
Hi Vijay
I read some of your poems.
And yes..I think mask poem is best song.
because it's full of metaphor and Zonate..
well done...