Alexander Shaumyan Poems

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1.
What Is A Poet?

What is a poet but a drunken fool-
a pitiful being that staggers through
local taverns, pathetic and mad,
muttering gibberish to the masses,
...

2.
How Do I Love Thee?

I love you more than all the bull
That you'd been telling me,
I love you more than all those guys
That you had shagged for free,
...

3.
To The Masters Of Pretentious Verse

Write what you will,
But your lines do not impress -
Your metaphors, hyperboles
And anaphoras do not contribute
...

4.
The Times They Are A-Changin'

(for Bob Dylan)

Come gather 'round hippies
Wherever you roam
...

5.
The Enormous Penis Of Nothingness

Just when you think of writing
A halfway decent poem,
It hits you over the head
Like a ruthless giant hotdog
...

6.
Pretty Girls Don'T Take Hallucinogenic Substances, They Are

Pretty girls don't take hallucinogenic substances, they are,
Pretty girls are like ether clouds inflating and deflating male egos,
Sometimes they give you a real cocaine high,
Making you feel like a millionaire executive of General Motors,
...

7.
Take This Body

Take this body, my love,
my body, my love,
feel my knees and my arms,
feel my fingers on your hair,
cold fingers, sad fingers,
kiss my mouth, my love,
...

8.
Jesus Burger

Feeling spiritually hungry,
I stopped by at an
Internet writers' joint,
Where I was served with
...

9.
Kentucky Girl

Yes, you are, yes, you are, my love,
You're my lovely Kentucky girl.
...

10.
I Love You

I love you-
Do you remember how it was
...

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