Smitty: The Godfather
Ol' smitty had nine lovely chickens,
And he treated each one like a pet.
But instead of eight or nine eggs a day,
One or two was all he could get.
So he petted and pampered and fed them with care,
And he managed to get three of four.
But no matter how much he spoiled them,
They just wouldn't lay anymore.
Well, it finally came to a showdown one night