Ambrose Bierce

(24 June 1842 - 26 December 1913 / Horse Cave Creek, Ohio)

Ambrose Bierce Quotes

  • ''The covers of this book are too far apart.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. Quoted in C.H. Grattan, Bitter Bierce (1929). One-sentence book review.
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  • ''A man is known by the company he organizes.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. "Saw," The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).
    1 person liked.
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  • ''Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).
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  • ''Irreligion. The principal one of the great faiths of the world.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).
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  • ''Insurrection. An unsuccessful revolution; disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).
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  • ''Insurance. An ingenious modern game of chance in which the player is permitted to enjoy the comfortable conviction that he is beating the man who keeps the table.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).
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  • ''Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906), repr. In Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, vol. 7 (1911).
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  • ''Incompatibility. In matrimony a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).
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  • ''Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906).
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  • ''Conservative. A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from a Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.''
    Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914), U.S. author. The Devil's Dictionary (1881-1906), repr. In Collected Works of Ambrose Bierce, vol. 7 (1911).
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Best Poem of Ambrose Bierce

Decalogue

Thou shalt no God but me adore:
'Twere too expensive to have more.

No images nor idols make
For Roger Ingersoll to break.

Take not God's name in vain: select
A time when it will have effect.

Work not on Sabbath days at all,
But go to see the teams play ball.

Honor thy parents. That creates
For life insurance lower rates.

Kill not, abet not those who kill;
Thou shalt not pay thy butcher's bill.

Kiss not thy neighbor's wife, unless
Thine own thy neighbor doth caress.

Don't ...

Read the full of Decalogue

Piety

The pig is taught by sermons and epistles
To think the God of Swine has snout and bristles.

Judibras.