Each time he came all my animosity, my anguish, my contempt for him would seep into the cave below my bed, lost in his love.
On those nights he almost always failed to make me come...
Ohh i would make him believe that he turned on the red lights
when he finished he would turn to me and say something like 'baby I must take it easy, I wouldnt want to fck you into a coma'.Ironic huh?
I would play along and tell him he brings me to the edge of the world.
He knew how to give enough, then disapear for days, soon I learned a lot, he was a good teacher.
We were plummeting to earth, to the sea, at velocities of falling stars.
Stars that have burnt out but are still floating on in the sky.
Hollow like the stars picked apart by carrion vulures, we hadn't a chance.
He started getting aggressive making me do things, making me dress up for him so sleazy so he can tear off my clothen and smear my lipstick.
His ego trips got worse and his power over me became hypnotic I felt meaning in it all. He even raped me once when I wouldnt give him any.
at that time I felt dirty and used up. I started asking myself questions you know those quesions when you start to wonder about your life and its meaning, questions that target ones moral integrity and purpose... Now looking back I have never been raped before. It was something to be powerless to the animal urges of stronger man... It was over the minute I got secure
before the smoke and twisted metal and cafe chairs before the coma, before the end. now its over his poor wife.