As tears fall silently down my cheek
The tears slow and wet
Like his kisses
Passionately and aggressively
We show all our feelings that we've been hiding for one another
& I lay in his bed because I know it is safe
To be near him meant that I was in my sanctuary
All harm could not touch me
I lay in his bed inviting
& he touches me
The soft touches followed by soft words
I was forever in his spell
Who would guess that his lovely spell could be the only thing to break me
I lay in his bed
Tears streaming down my face
& he unknowingly sleeps
I love him still
Even though the place I thought most safe has become the opposite
His lies took away the pleasure
The pleasure of what should have been a special night
Everyday I watch him
I watch him tell lies to someone else not as wise as me
I found out the game
No longer am I a player
"lay in my bed? "
"No sir! "
No longer shall I lay his bed
No longer will those soft words and those soft touches lure me into his trap
I am finished
But am I really finished?
Am I really done with the tears
Am I really done with the hurt
Am I really done with the smiles...
That he once brought
That happy feeling I had when I heard those soft words
Am I really done with him?
The game with my heart is on going
& he feels no shame
he feels no shame knowing that he brought me tears
he feels no shame knowing that he hurt me
& then I just smile
because that is the only thing I can do
The smile eases the pain
The smile makes me feel everything is alright
& everything will be alright
because I smile.