Biography of Bri Edwards
About Me: [edited November 1,2014]
Ok! it is now March 23,2017 and i am STILL ALIVE! Way to go, Bri! ! but....FLASH! my real name (no lie) is Brian Edward Whitaker, BUT if you use this information in a cruel or dishonest way, i shall hunt you down and tickle you mercilessly! especially if you are a broad!
PH seems to leave the apostrophes out of my bio, so i have replaced them; maybe they will stick now? I think one of my high school English teachers gave me the only D I ever got on a postcard [gee, over a year after writing this bio i went to edit it and found that i wrote postcard instead of the correct word(s) : 'report card'; i guess that is what happens to a retired U.S.postal worker! ] Proofreading does make a difference! That was my LOW mark! Just so ya know, ya know? But who's counting?
I was a conscientious objector during the Vietnam conflict/war after i quit college my senior year. Ive been a delivery truck driver, a day laborer, a hospital aide, an operating room technician, and last, but not least, a USPS window clerk, now retired. PLEASE buy stamps etc.
I have one child and have been a good husband................four times. Yikes! I enjoy birdwatching, walking, talking, being a pain to my wife (not really) , and writing poetry. Most of my poems have been written since I retired in 2004.
PoemHunter is great! not perfect, but who/what is? i have moved to (near) eureka california. i am still married! i have become a grandfather, though i don't consider it a big deal.
a friend recently asked if a poem i had sent to her was pentameter. hmm? i looked it up. something to do with arrangements of words in poetry. i told her i (usually) just write what sounds good to me. hopefully some of it sounds good to the readers!
in my list of poems i give, for each poem, a title, and i follow the title with some clues [in brackets] about the poem's content and length. at least that is how my more recently-submitted poems are listed. this is to aid readers in picking something they might enjoy, or at least not hate. in most of my poems i try to be funny, at least a little bit! i also have very serious poems. some are VERY long (but not TOO long) , and those sometimes deal with serious subjects of human behavior/(behaviour for some of my overseas friends) and experiences. they may take ten minutes or more to read? , but hopefully some will read and enjoy them.
i almost always use rhymes. maybe that will make up for my lack of seriousness, romanticism, and attention to confining-patterns (such as in pentameters!) .
i will be challenged if anyone would like to suggest a topic or title for a poem. i wrote one for an ex-wife's boyfriend once (a valentines day poem; i did have to ask her to tell me something about their relationship/him, in order to write something personalized and somewhat truthful) . feel free to ask.
my PH fried, Brian Johnston, has been running a monthly (for a few months so far) poetry writing contest ('Challenge') in which he challenges all members to submit a poem using a title he has chosen. he makes up a 'poem title' (referring to the month and year and the word 'Challenge'
i also have a habit at times of correcting or suggesting or questioning poets in my comments about their poem(s) . most poets on PH have accepted this without complaint. [maybe they HAD a complaint, but they did not tell ME.] some have even thanked me! a few have requested that i send less-than-flattering comments to them directly as messages so other readers will not see them. fine with me, if i am asked to do that and remember.
i am NOT a man of few words, as you may be able to assume by the length of this.
please feel free to suggest i read one (a particular one) of YOUR poems. i will try to accommodate you, but please proofread the poem at LEAST once first, and don't feel i'm being mean if i don't praise it.
some of my poems deal (in part at least) with my feeling that i have lived long enough (66 years) and am ready to go to the next step, which to me is dirt. i am an agnostic/atheist which also shows up in some of my poems. the photo of me on PH is really me and, yes, i am eating pizza, a rare treat for me. have a nice time on PoemHunter! bri :)
i just reread the instructions for what to write here......in my bio. it says write down a brief note, but it also says there are no limitations for this text, SO i guess i haven't broken the rules with my wordiness!
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some suggested SHORT POEMS by me:
[Humor] Speak To Me, Moon..... [Speaking To The Moon; Fantasy; Humor; Very SHORT] 3/28/2014
A Father's Toast At His Gay Son's Wedding Reception..... [Same-sex marriage; Humour/HUMOR; Johnny Cash song/Sheldon Silverstein poem; SHORT]
Won't You Be My Poemhunter-Valentine? ? ...... [my silly VERY SHORT valentine wish] 2/12/2014
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some suggested MEDIUM POEMS by me:
Mary's Pet....[Humor; Human nature; Pets; Scary? ; Grade school] 11/21/2012
Bye-bye Jimmy.....[Nature observations; Death; Personal] 10/29/2012
Holes I've Known....... [Holes, of course! ; HUMOR/humour; MEDIUM length] 6/17/2014
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some suggested LONG POEMS by me:
[Jake's] Christmas Eve.....[Exploration; Food Gathering; Fatherhood; Santa; Rat; LONG; Humor] 12/15/2012
'6 Foot 3'......[LONG; Scary; Gross; Murder] 11/18/2012
When The Carousel Animals Got Loose.....[LONG; Humor; Fantasy; Adventure] 8/9/2012
Creation (maybe not what you think) ......[Girl-to-woman; Baby-making; LONG; Relationships] 12/15/2012
Finding Oneself......... [EXTREMELY LONG; Growing Up; Relationships; Humour/Humor] reviewed 12/1/2012
Bri Edwards's Works:
zip, zero, none
- June 2018 Showcase…[ For, And Usually By... -new-
- Poemhunter Prostitute... [ Inspired By A...
- Wives Bri Has Known..[ Looking Back; Som...
- M-A-Y 2018 Showcase ….[ Poems, (Usually)...
- Bri's Older Stepdaughter: I'd Like To S-...
- Ice Cream Nightmare - #1.....[ Ice Cream...
- You Are.........[ This Poem Had A Very S...
- Leisure: [ph Ruined This Poem! ] Leisure...
- Love Note, ‘ Requested ' ….[ Accused, Ab...
- Peking Duck: Delicious! ! ! ....[ In Hon...
- Easter,2018 ….[ Bri's Unusual View Of Ea...
Bri Edwards Poems
My English Sucks …..[english ('poor') : ...
When I were schooled english wernt my thing. My scores in English lurning no bells done ring. Yea I grajaded but ain't english smart ….no lie! Come end a school year the teach said 'By Bri.'
Being Old: The Advantages And Disadvanta...
For my poems, my friend Valsa George has a hunger. She’s over fifty, but, compared to me, she is younger. She suggested I write about ‘the advantages of being old’. It’s a challenge, but, Valsa, on this idea you have sold......
Fun-Eral....... [my Funeral; Relatives; ...
Did you ever notice, in “funeral”, the much smaller word, Fun? If there was a funeral for me, who would “from it” and who would “to it” run? At 64 I’m overdue perhaps; why should I any longer stick around? In our big paper dictionary, many as young or younger than I have died, I’ve found.
Green: The Color... [green Things]
My favorite colors are green and brown. Green-leafed trees polka-dot our town. Green’s the color of farm pond scum, and green’s the color of green tea gum.
(marriage) Equality..... [see The Tit...
I’m an American. So you know I KNOW about equality, right? And I’m married. I strive for spousal equality with all my might! Let me share with you how I help to keep my marriage EQUAL. I’m so good at it that this is my 3rd marriage sequel.
'Poetic Pizza' Pieces For Poemhunter Pal...
Kanav Justa suggested I share my pizza with PoemHunter friends, but I’ve found, when trying to send real pizza, my wife’s computer bends. So you PoemHunter friends will have to settle for.... slices of my thoughts. You’ll have to settle for “Poetic Pizza” Pieces my mind and pen have wrought.
I' Ll Quit Poetry..... [my Poemhunter C...
Sitting quietly in my too-fancy chair, I hear classical music now fill the air. [It's a rare evening during which my wife and I don't a movie share.] Now the music's stopped coming from down the hall; I did enjoy it. I believe my wife's at her computer in the "office"; she, the music, did employ it
A Bloody Riot............ [football/Socc...
Today’s News said fans tore a referee to pieces. I wonder if they tore..... along the ref’s creases. But it wasn’t just random fanatic-fan strife, since the ref first killed the fans’ player..... with a knife.
'Mashed Potatoes'......[ Personal; Auto...
Memory of Thanksgiving: Gravy with... mashed potatoes. Sandwich of my Youth: Bacon and lettuce.... with tomatoes. Jobs I've had: Nurses' aide, clerk, .... and truck driver. Athletes I'll never be: Quarterback, boxer, and high diver.
Actc: 2014/12: Contest Titles (2) ...
ACTC: 2014/12: CONTEST TITLES (2) AND INFO FOR December Challenge ACTC: 2014/12: CONTEST TITLES (2) AND INFO FOR December Challenge
Get Up, But Don’t Bother Me...... [humo...
If you awaken before me And I'm crying in my sleep, I must be dreaming of you, You dirty rotten little creep.
' Spider' Is Watching You.... [ A Littl...
Little girl, do you feel many eyes watching you each day, while, in sun or rain, outside you carry on ….at your play? It's just me, your multi-eyed little pencil-case-spider-friend. Remember when last year, on playground, me you did defend?
65th-Birthday Gift(S) ..... [my Birthday...
My odometer turned over again. I’m a youthful 65. To my delight I was given 3 fine gifts; gifts that were alive! We had gone hiking up a hill, overlooking the nearby ocean. I heard a call from above us, and saw three birds in motion.
Dessert Deluge ..... [ 'Just' Desserts,...
My fabled flight to the fabulous East ….. brought, to me, a delicious dessert feast. At daughter's in-laws I had cran-apple pie.
Bri Is A Yodeling Fool
Stu said to me, Mr. Bri, : Let's go yodel-ing.
I, Bri, said: NO! I'll land my ass...IN a sling! .
But Stu was adamant; he thought it 'COOL'.....
.....to yodel. I thought Stu was a damn....FOOL!
But soon we were in the Swiss Alps, quite 'high'.
And a cute 'Swiss Miss' there made me sigh.
I yodeled for her day AND sometimes night.
I lost myself in yodeling; it was a true sad sight.