Biography of Bruce Larkin
Bruce Currently makes his living as a juggler, physicist, and professional mutterer. When Bruce Larkin was 11 years old, he was struck by lighting while riding his unicycle. Even though that lightning bolt stimulated the part of Bruce's brain which writes funny poetry, it also threw him off of a cliff into the wagon of a passing Gypsy caravan. Bruce has never seen his family since that day. He is hoping to use his poetry to be reunited with his 23 brothers and sisters. Each of his poems contains a sophisticated code which will hopefully allow Bruce to rejoin his 23 siblings. If you recognize any of the code in these poems, please sit on a bench in Central Park next Tuesday morning at 10am. Bruce will then approach you and mutter some physics equations while juggling chainsaws. He will know if you are one of his missing brothers and sisters by your response.
Visit Bruce when you get a chance at www.brucelarkin.com
Bruce Larkin Poems
Dealing With Problems
They say an upset ostrich Will stick its head in the ground. That's no way to fix a problem. It's not how solutions are found.
A Sad Love Story
The Night Before School Starts
‘Twas the night before school starts, And all through the city, Parents were filled with joy. They were downright giddy.
A Cannibal's Comment
'I don't mean to be rude', Said the hungry cannibal, 'But I could go for some finger food.'
My Circus Life
They say that in life, You have to pay your dues. I went and joined the circus. I now shine the clown's shoes.
Read Across America
He wrote the 'Cat in the Hat' And so many other great books. His fans have grown up to be Astronauts, teachers, dancers, and cooks.
It Could Have Been An Amazing Chicken
It could have been a rapper; A true barnyard superstar, Maybe a feathered hero, It could have gone so far.
I Met A Celebrity
My family went to Hollywood. There were plenty of things to do. I decided on that trip To make one of my dreams come true.
A Home In The Zoo
The bird flitted from place to place. She had something she had to do. Her task was very important; She wanted to live in the zoo.
National Reading Day
I Dream Of In-N-Out
I really love In-N-Out burgers. I'm convinced they are the best. They're the burger I look for Whenever I travel out West.
Was feeling dandy, Eating popcorn And gumdrop candy.
Summer Desert Heat
This heat never ceases, Up from the ground, into your feet. From way up high in the sky, It pounds you with a drummers beat.
The Most Beautiful Word
Dr. Seuss Nowadays
Dr. Seuss is a rotting corpse
Who lies in the dirt in his grave.
He sometimes pokes a bony hand up
And grabs a poor child's legs.
Some are not sure why he is so mean,
While others would wager a bet
That this is what you will always get
When you eat too many green eggs.