Quotes

11 November 2014
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
11 November 2014
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
11 November 2014
You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates.
11 November 2014
With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them.
11 November 2014
Motherhood is the second oldest profession in the world. It never questions age, height, religious preference, health, political affiliation, citizenship, morality, ethnic background, marital status, economic level, convenience, or previous experience.
11 November 2014
Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.
11 November 2014
Children make your life important.
11 November 2014
It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today.
11 November 2014
Humorists can never start to take themselves seriously. It's literary suicide.

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