Biography of Fernando Alvarez
Born in Mexico City and lived there some time after that I moved to Cuernavaca Morelos (Mexico) moving again but this time to Anaheim California (U.S.A) , where some of my feelings were coming out, due to the changes that my life had suffered; like spending almost all the time alone and no one to talk to I started becoming quiet and hiding feelings I had. After, moved again to the place of origin and started experimenting things and this is the place where my hate grew and started writing poetry. Most of my poems express facts about the suicide thoughts that I had the pain that I was going through, hate that I had towards some persons in specific. The poems about love were not really inspired from personal experiences they were from what I saw in other persons that were in love and thoughts that could come to my mind. The most recent love poem is called Mended Heart; this one is unique since it was inspired by the love of my life and written by the feelings I have and the things that we have gone through.
The eager and pain has been vanishing. I think a person gets over it as the years pass and lives new experiences in his/her life and becomes aware or finds a purpose for those actions but I’d still tell all those people to F*** off, it can vanish from the outside but not from the inside.
People weren't there when I needed it and that's the result of my poems.
Fernando Alvarez Poems
Suicide is the answer To many questions asked. It hides inside of you But it will be unmasked.
' Please, See Me Through My Tears '
You asked, 'How are you doing? ' As I tell you, tears came to my eyes…. And you looked away and quickly began to talk again. All the attention you had given drained away. 'How am I doing? '
Turn the clock back. Time after time. Upside down icicles drip. Turn my life inside out.
Please forgive me I never meant to be I loved you but I had to let you free You died because of me
*'I Miss You'*
I miss your laughter, fun, and gentleness. I miss the things I used to do for you. I miss the time, now filled with emptiness, When each day was a stage for something new.
Each Moment Of Love Remains Like A Song....
Each moment of love remains like a song In the flow of our lives, in the lilt of our years, Gripping our thoughts in its simple refrain, Healing with beauty our unanswered pain,
12: 15pm 04/13/05'
Here every single day Where can I get away?
I hate me I hate u for loving me I hate that I need u I hate that you love me
Love And Hate Me
Love me For what I am Hate me For what I've done
I love you more than life itself But I’m afraid to love. My heart is like the fragile wings Of a tiny little dove.
You murdered me Killed me in cold blood Made me fall Left me here to die
My Friend The Blade
I feel the blade dig into my skin. The feelings of depression released from within. The blood leaks out from my cut. As I keep my teary eyes shut,
Escape From Insanity
Slamming doors Breaking windows Tearing down all barricades I need to get out
The broken mirror You used to look in The blood around you And your clenched fist
I look at myself in the mirror each day,
And can't help but ask myself,
'Why do I feel this way? '
I sit up in my bedroom and cry and cry.
I ask myself 'why, oh why? '
My self-esteem is so very low.
I feel as if I will never be able to glow.
There are times when I don't know how,
To deal with all this pain that I feel.