Fran Lebowitz

(1950 / Morristown, New Jersey)

Fran Lebowitz Quotes

  • ''Polite conversation is rarely either.''
    Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950), U.S. humorist. Social Studies, ch. 1 (1981).
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  • ''Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.''
    Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950), U.S. humorist. Social Studies, ch. 16 (1981).
  • ''Do not approach with anything even resembling assurance a restaurant that moves.''
    Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950), U.S. humorist. Social Studies, ch. 16 (1981).
  • ''Local television shows do not, in general, supply make-up artists. The exception to this is Los Angeles, an unusually generous city in this regard, since they also provide this service for radio appearances.''
    Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950), U.S. humorist. Social Studies, ch. 16 (1981).
  • ''Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.''
    Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950), U.S. humorist. Social Studies, ch. 16 (1981).
  • ''Twenty-four-hour room service generally refers to the length of time that it takes for the club sandwich to arrive. This is indeed disheartening, particularly when you've ordered scrambled eggs.''
    Fran Lebowitz (b. 1950), U.S. humorist. Social Studies, ch. 16 (1981).
  • ''Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.''
    Fran Lebowitz (20th century), U.S. journalist and humorist. The Fran Lebowitz Reader, "Parental Guidance," (1994).
  • ''If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract—teach him to deduct.''
    Fran Lebowitz (20th century), U.S. journalist and humorist. The Fran Lebowitz Reader, "Parental Guidance," (1994).
  • ''Nothing succeeds like address.''
    Fran Lebowitz (b. 1951), U.S. journalist. "The Nail Bank: Not Just Another Clip Joint," Metropolitan Life (1978).
  • ''To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.''
    Fran Lebowitz (b. 1951), U.S. journalist. "Things," Social Studies (1981).

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