Fred Allen


Fred Allen Quotes

  • ''I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.''
    Fred Allen (1894-1957), U.S. radio comic. Letter, June 12, 1953, to comedian Groucho Marx.
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  • ''California is a fine place to live—if you happen to be an orange.''
    Fred Allen (1894-1957), U.S. radio comic. American Magazine (Dec. 1945).
  • ''Life, in my estimation, is a biological misadventure that we terminate on the shoulders of six strange men whose only objective is to make a hole in one with you.''
    Fred Allen (1894-1957), U.S. radio comic. Quoted in Forbes (New York, August 1, 1967).
  • ''Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.''
    Fred Allen (1894-1957), U.S. radio comic. Quoted in No People Like Show People, ch. 8, Maurice Zolotow (1951).
  • ''The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.''
    Fred Allen (1894-1957), U.S. radio comic. Quoted in Paris After Dark, introduction, Art Buchwald (1954).
  • ''We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.''
    Fred Allen (1894-1957), U.S. comic. Treadmill to Oblivion, pt. 4 (1954).
  • ''A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 pm to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.''
    Fred Allen (1894-1957), U.S. radio comic. Treadmill to Oblivion, pt. 2 (1954).

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