Garrison Keillor


Garrison Keillor Quotes

  • ''Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.''
    Garrison Keillor (b. 1942), U.S. author. "Easter," Leaving Home (1987).
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  • ''Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might frighten you. Parents should sit tall in the saddle and look upon their troops with a noble and benevolent and extremely nearsighted gaze.''
    Garrison Keillor (b. 1942), U.S. author. "Easter," Leaving Home (1987).
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  • ''A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.''
    Garrison Keillor (b. 1942), U.S. author. "Exiles," Leaving Home (1987).
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  • ''A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.''
    Garrison Keillor (b. 1942), U.S. author. "That Old 'Picayune-Moon'," Harper's (New York, Sept. 1990).
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  • ''We carry adolescence around in our bodies all our lives. We get through the Car Crash Age alive and cruise through our early twenties as cool dudes, wily, dashing, winsome . . . shooting baskets, the breeze, the moon, and then we try to become caring men, good husbands, great fathers, good citizens.''
    Garrison Keillor (20th century), U.S. humorist and author. The Book of Guys, introduction (1993).
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  • ''Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.''
    Garrison Keillor (b. 1942), U.S. author. "The Meaning of Life," We Are Still Married (1989).
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  • ''The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles.''
    Garrison Keillor (b. 1942), U.S. writer. We Are Still Married, introduction (1989).
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  • ''Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Experiments with laboratory rats have shown that, if one psychologist in the room laughs at something a rat does, all of the other psychologists in the room will laugh equally. Nobody wants to be left holding the joke.''
    Garrison Keillor (b. 1942), U.S. writer. We Are Still Married, introduction (1989).
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