1 Here lies our country's biggest nerd,
his death was a surprise.
He never said a nasty word
nor anything too wise.
Oh Bro, can you spare a dime?
I need to get some soup and bread
to feed my brain so it can rhyme
there is a glut inside my head
It was as if the skies
had kissed this Mother Earth
so that her sparkling eyes
gave rise to precious birth.
There comes, around the bend a shyster
clear eyes, smart suit and pink bow tie.
Vest pocket carries Jaegermeister
five hundred mil, to get him by.
So does Philosophy then, suffer from
the superficiality of its apparent softness?
Or do you find it harsh, my friend, and cold,
its objectivity a front to trivialise all human feeling.
There was a young lady from Perth
who was born on the day of her birth.
She grew older with grace
and wore Persian lace.
There was only a note
on the living room door,
and in lipgloss she wrote
'I can't take it no more.'
Said the good-natured mouse
who was sharing a house
which was really a log
with a goose-shit-green frog:
And may I ask you now,
to keep, as from today
a chair next to your bed?
Reserved for me, of course,