I started writing poetry just recently. I used to write, just to get everything out and then one day I tried writing poetry. I found that writing poetry got more of my emotions out, because they were put into an art form. I can look at art and feel, but when i look at word i just remember.
Two years ago I was dating a girl that started to cut. I told her if she did it again then I would. She did, I didn’t, I couldn’t. I made a bad decision and that was to remain going out with her when I didn’t want to because she told me 'if I didn’t have you I would cut everyday.' I do not take cutting lightly and will not let anyone do it if i can stop them.
I went to Duke for three weeks (taking a class) . My friend tried to commit suicide multiple times. I stopped him by force multiple times and had to threaten my life twice. The second time I threatened my life I couldn’t breathe. I finally told the appropriate people and now that friend is alive and well. While there I found 3 of my best friends. I also was brought to the real world. I found that a lot of people I know cut. I almost gave my life for a person I new for 2 weeks (at that time) . I didn’t know I could love someone that much.
I have not cut, though I have been close. I have obviously not committed suicide, though I have thought of it. I have my bad days where I want to die, but then I hear from one of my best friends or write or something and I get better. I have, no doubt, depression. I have not been diagnosed, but I am. I think this is the only thing my writing branches from.
I look forward to the time I will spend on PH. I have met people that give advice, help and are very nice. They have welcomed me to the PH family and now I am here to stay.